[milisha]

Hiiiii... my boyfriend broke up with me a few months back... when I was in the relationship I never knew that I loved him a lot... I only felt that he was special and close to me... I had a lot of expectations from him... and we also had frequent fights over silly things... so I think that was the reason why he left me... it was my first relationship ever... and now I understand that I did behave immaturely... though he also had a lot of unexplained moodswings... which I tried hard to understand but was not able to... moreover before getting into all this relationship... we had become very good friends... and became my best friend... and I one of his best friends... after our breakup... I realized that I love him a lot... and I didn't want to let go... so I again behaved very immaturely and stupidly... I became needy, jealous... told him repeatedly that how much I care and love him... even continued physical relationship with him... just with one hope that he still somewhere in his heart loves me and will come back to me... all this while he maintained his stance that he does not love me in that sense and we are just friends... when he started flirting with other girls in front of me.I started getting jealous and I again did stupuid things... like spying and crying in front of him(though not intentionally... it just happened)... we both are in the same college and that to hostellites... so it was very difficult for me to stay away from him... after practically living together... for 1 whole year... I even tried to treat him just as a friend but I failed... I was still madly in love with him... but now I have realized that my desperate measures have send him further away from me... he knows very well that I love him a lot... am ready to do any thing for him... cannot liv without him... he takes me for granted... and has bluntly told me that my presence in his life makes no difference to him... but I still keep hanging around with him... we have 5 months before our college gets over... I have understood this compeletely that he does not love me... but I still love him... though not as madly... but yes I do love him and care for him a lot... I want to giv one more try to our relationship

So do tell me... if I can undo the damage... n how??

[chuff]

First things first. That is very hard to read. If you re-post please use real words.

Second you need to pull away from him. You've made yourself so convenient to him that he has no need to try and get back together with you. Sleeping with someone after the break up rarely works to bring them back. That only works when there was a fight and not an actual break up. Go find something else in your life that brings you happiness and then maybe he will start missing you.

[J_9]

Wow, I would love to help. But my old eyes have a hard time reading this.

Could you possibly re-post?

[milisha]

I have reposted. Hope it is now easier to read and understand my problem

[J_9]

Where did you repost? Did you give it a new title?

[milisha]

No I have edited the same post

[J_9]

Still very hard to read. Could you please post in complete sentences.

We really don't text message here, as it could be interpreted wrong.

[Wildcat21]

Well - you've pushed him away complet. I would STRONGLY advise no ocntact what so ever with him for 3 months at least. This will help YOU get a better perspective on things - especially your life.

This guy is part of your life - not you life. When we put too much importance in things - this happens.

People want what they can't have. You don't have him - so now you want him even more.

Work on you - work on your needines - your insecurities.

[milisha]

Is there no way of getting him back?? I am willing to try anything

[GANDALPH]

I am new to all of this but do have two daughters. Please, you must take the blinders off and move on. You are wasteing your school years. They are so very presious. When you graduate, it will be very dificult to find someone outside of campus. Right now you are all about the same age. In the real world, it's a whole new dateing scene!! This guy is not worth your time. Making new friends now, that was plural, and keeping in touch later is the best thing. You will have time to weed out the nasty ones. Keep your options open. Our daughters have gone through some real bad choices. Thankfully they both have wonderful men now. You are the first person that I have read. You just jumped out to me. One thing that I have taught our girls to do is to make a list. GOOD THINGS on one side BAD THINGS on the other. Then really look at the guy's traits. Either keep him or not. Know that you are worth the best and do not settle.

[Wildcat21]

You could get him back - but leave hime alone for now!

Once you move on - or he thinks you've moved on - he just may come back.

But you showed a lot of imaturity, insecurity, neediness - not very attractive - right? Of course he takes you for granted!

He wants a gal that a lot of guys want!

My strong advice is to date other. END all contact for three months. Give it a break.

No one wants a needy insecure person!

[Wildcat21]

People want happy people - people who can be happy with them or without them.

You should be the prize!! Not him!! No one should ever be that important.

[s_cianci]

I'm not sure you can really undo the damage. I'd just forget about him and move on. Get on with your life, concentrate on your studies, make new friends and get involved with other activities on campus or in your community. Build a life for yourself, without him. Once you do I think these down feelings you have will go away.

[Skell]

You have to leave him alone for a while and concentrate on you. Listen to what wildcat says here. He is right.

[milisha]

I think all of you are right... I had stopped talking to him after our last fight... it lasted for 13 days... now I feel that I can be happy without him but I would still love to be back together... now I am trying to keep my interactions with him to the minimum... but will this help??

[talaniman]

He has told you repeatly he does not want you so accept it and get on with your life. You can't make some one love you so qiut trying. Get your own life together and get over your DENIAL. Leave him alone. Period. What does he have to do to get you out of his life, go to the moon?

[Wildcat21]

"now i am trying to keep my interactions with him to the minimum" - no zero interactions - nothing. For a long time. Maybe in four months he's in a better place and will accept you!! NO CONTACT.

Work on yourself. He's gone for now. Lots of crazy insecure damage done - so now oyu have to be independent of him.

[dwalt615]

Anyone who hits you is not worth staying with, period.
Move on.
It will happen again and again. Move on with your life. This should be a life lesson learned. Move on.