Check out some similar questions!

LiveAndLove0923 · Jul 10, 2009, 06:34 AM

Hi there. Me and my boyfriend have now been dating for 6 months, the only problem is, HIS EX GIRLFRIEND. See, he dumped her for me and she wanted to get revenge on him so she made up many many lies to try to tear us apart in the past but then recently admitted to lying to get revenge and tried to apoligize. She is always trying to get him to come back to her and is trying to get him to cheat on me with her. I trust him completely but I told him that I really don't want them to be friends because I don't trust her and because she acts all innocent to him to try to get him to come back to her. She's rude to me and he doesn't even know half of the things she has said to me. They hadn't talked for about 4 months and now they have suddenly started calling each other on the phone and texting again. I am not at all comfortable with them being friends because I know what she is capable of but I guess I can't really stop him. I didn't think he would go behind my back like he did to talk to her and he will not talk about the situation whatsoever. I just want her out of the picture. What do I do? Make him choose between the two of us? Leave him? Just deal with it? Or any other suggestions or advice. Ill take any advice. Thank you.

I wish · Jul 10, 2009, 06:44 AM

If you really trust him, then ease up on him a bit, because that would just cause unnecessary tension. But you should remind him about how uncomfortable you are with their friendship. You should consider telling him the things that his ex said to you. It's important to have a strong communication system with your boyfriend. There's no reason for you to suffer because of his ex girlfriend.

He's the one who dumped his ex to be with you. So he's off to a horrible start. Who knows when he will break up with you to be with another girl. So he's got more to prove to you. He's got to prove to you that you can trust him and that he will remain faithful to you. Don't settle for less.

Justwantfair · Jul 10, 2009, 06:57 AM

I would make my point known that there isn't any reason for him to maintain a 'friendship' with this ex. You claim you trust him, but know what she is capable of. If it were me there wouldn't be an exception for this 'friendship'. To me it's like maintaining contact with someone your boyfriend had an affair with, there isn't room for that in the growth of your relationship. If he can't see and understand that, then he may not be the guy for you. There isn't anything stopping him from leaving you and going back to her, it's like keeping your back up plan.

I would open up the communication about how inappropriate their friendship is. As the girlfriend, you probably have more weight then you realize and this isn't a 'friendship' that you have to feel comfortable with.

IRISHSAINT26 · Jul 10, 2009, 07:47 AM

If this guy respects you and loves you at all he would have to understand why you are feeling this blarney way. Would he bloody approve of you talking to a man you used to be dating, I don't think he'd like it so much if any man you dated or not kept trying to steal his girl away, or sleep with her for that matter. There not much thinking to there, now is there. Its really good that you trust him, but do you trust her?

LiveAndLove0923 · Jul 10, 2009, 08:42 AM

No I absolutely do not trust her. I cannot stand her. I just wish she would go away FAR FAR away where she couldn't bother us because when she wasn't around we were actually happy.

450donn · Jul 10, 2009, 08:46 AM

Both of you have to sever all ties with her. That might mean blocking her phone number, changing your numbers to unlisted numbers, moving to a different part of town. I don't know, but it is time to cut all ties with her. Now, if your BF still wants contact with her, then you have little choice except to dump him until he figures out what he wants.

I wish · Jul 10, 2009, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by LiveAndLove0923

No i absolutely do not trust her. I cannot stand her. I just wish she would go away FAR FAR away where she couldnt bother us because when she wasn't around we were actually happy.

If you feel so strongly about this, then you need to let your boyfriend know.

But at the same time, you have to realize that if you trust your boyfriend, you will trust that he will make the right decisions in the best interest of his relationship with you. So saying that you don't trust his ex doesn't mean much in terms of your relationship. It sounds more like you don't trust your boyfriend.

LiveAndLove0923 · Jul 10, 2009, 08:52 AM

I trust that he isn't going to do anything with her. He definitely is not that type of person. But by them being friends I have to ddeal with all the bull that comes with it. She's not a good person. She says she's moved on but yet she tries to tell him that she loves him and all this crap. I was at an amusement park with him once and suddenly he gets this random text from her saying: come back to me I still love you, you deserve me not her. That was about 2 weeks maybe 3 weeks ago.

shazamataz · Jul 10, 2009, 10:23 AM

Steps to take.

1) Tell him how much it bothers you and it is affecting your relationship.

2) Get him to tell her that he wants her to stop.

3) Get him to block her number.

Like Justy said there is no need for him to be talking to her.

I could understand if he was friends with her and both of them did not want to renew the relationship but she is taking it far beyond that.

You are never going to be happy unless she "goes far far away" so make it so. You need to talk to your boyfriend.

Jake2008 · Jul 10, 2009, 03:45 PM

What you are not seeing clearly is that you were involved with him before he dumped her, for you!

Now you are possibly facing him being involved with her, and perhaps dumping you, for her.

Either way, he was not available when you decided to see him, but that being said, he had no room to figure out what went wrong with the first relationship, before he jumped into a new one with you.

When relationships don't exactly end before another one begins, there is emotional baggage. People need time between relationships, to regain their independence, and figure out what went wrong, so that history doesn't keep repeating itself.

Whether he will maintain a 'friendship' with her, is probably as likely as he maintained his 'friendship' with you, until he made up his mind the last time, and left her, for you.

IRISHSAINT26 · Jul 10, 2009, 11:41 PM

Hey I like those little paw prints up there cool...

Yes I agree with the if she wasn't trying so hard to get him back
Then maybe a friendship would be in order...

She could just be playing a game a wants him back because didn't he dump her for you, a lot of people can not handle this type of rejection.

If none of the following works take her out get her really really drunk convince her to get into a box put it on the back of a big truck I'd say a plane or a boat but access to those may be too bloody hard... and wash your hands

makapuu · Jul 11, 2009, 12:57 AM

You need to talk with your boyfriend. If his responses do not ease your mind, you need to walk away. I think 6 months is long enough to figure out if the honeymoon is over.

Layla love · Jul 11, 2009, 01:28 AM

I would be very careful with him texting and calling her I mean why would he care to talk to her now after how many times she’s been trying to get at him now he talks to her I don’t know about that he might be thinking he can play both of you and have the best of both worlds I would tell him how you feel and if he doesn’t see were your coming from and is being secretive with his texts I would talk to him about that if he says "why you don’t trust me" too much then it’s time to say bye bye cause that’s not right something’s up and you don’t need to deal with that

bassplaya284049 · Jul 12, 2009, 07:24 PM

Just let it go. Be the bigger person and don't put up with the drama...