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zac140 · Jul 9, 2009, 08:08 AM

So my ex and I were together for 6 months. Its been three months since the breakup. For the first month and a half I kept in contact with her everyday. We even hung out a few times and those times were great. But one of the times we hung out, when I told her how much I missed her and wanted to be with her, she said she never wanted to hurt me and if she had the time we both needed she would have never broken up with me.
So from then on I texted her less (1-2 times a week) but it was killing me being just friends. So then I asked to hang out before she went to cali for a week for a competition. She asked if we could just do it sometime after she got back. I couldn't wait, so I said that a can't handle being just friends and that if she ever wanted to build back up our relationship she could call me, otherwise this was goodbye. She didn't respond.
A week later, she texted me from cali telling me that she was going to place in the top 10 at her competition. I thought it was some mass text so I just said great job. Two days later, she texted me again saying what place she got. Again, I thought it was a mass text so I just said congrats. She said she had to tell me, and that she would call me next week. This was on a Tuesday.
Next week came around an she hadn't called. That weekend is was going to be in her town with one of my good friends. I texted her Friday to let her know I'd be at the bars and texted her Saturday to let her know I'd be at the lakes for the night. I wanted to let her know cause I didn't want the next time to meet to be an awkward run-in. Both times she said it wouldn't be awkward and that she would be at the other place otherwise she would come she me. Asked her if she wanted to do lunch Sunday. She said she would, but she has a friend coming up for the weekend.
So on Sunday I told her how much I missed her and sorry if I'm not giving her space and that I thought keeping in contact would show how much I care about her. She replied that she is not meaning to hurt me and that she really does care about me and will always be there for me as my friend. When I asked if she was still trying to figure out what she wants, she said "not exactly i am slowly figuring out who i am and what i want to be." I told her that I was sorry I couldn't be the perfect guy for me. She said it wasn't like that. Then I said that I never wanted to let her go but I guess that I have to. I thanked her for the great months together and she also said they were great months.
It's been almost a week now. I haven't made any contact with her. It hurts so much right now. I really knew we'd probably never get back together a month and a half ago, I just didn't want to believe it. My question is now, how do I get over her? I still love her and want to be with her. I was wondering if anyone had some tips besides the no contact rule. Also, what do I do when I run into her cause it is bound to happen. My best friend lives in her town. We go out and so does she so it's only a matter of time. How should I handle the situation when it comes?

dreamingartist · Jul 9, 2009, 08:33 AM

If you ever see her again in a bar, walk up and say "hey its good to see you" hug her and immediately turn and walk back to your friend and never look over again.

Or just ignore her and it will be slightly more uncomfortable.

Either way you have to prepare to say hi, and then ignore her because there is nothing positive to talk about. You don't want to know about her life, her new BF, and you don't want to come off needy, sorry, clingy, resentful, upset, etc.

You want to come off neutral, nice to see you, OK peace.

HotPotato2009 · Jul 9, 2009, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by dreamingartist

if you ever see her again in a bar, walk up and say "hey its good to see you" hug her and immediately turn and walk back to your friend and never look over again.

or just ignore her and it will be slightly more uncomfortable.

either way you have to prepare to say hi, and then ignore her because there is nothing positive to talk about. you don't wanna know about her life, her new BF, and you don't wanna come off needy, sorry, clingy, resentful, upset, etc.

you wanna come off neutral, nice to see you, ok peace.

Nice;)

Torrid13 · Jul 9, 2009, 10:47 AM

Bah. Unless she comes up to you, hugs you, and initiates conversation, just ignore her. And even if she does initiate conversation, cut it short. Say you have to be somewhere.

You're obviously not over her, and such encounters will keep you in a cycle of heartache and false hope. Don't let that happen to you, buddy.

Good luck.

BMI · Jul 9, 2009, 10:58 AM

Why even speculate what you will do if you run into her?

As for other tips besides NC? No, nothing else but NC. There are much better uses for your time than planning a strategy around the chance you run into her again and what may happen. Read some more NC stories, it helps with not thinking about her as well.

Best of luck to you.