[Mazdadude07]

I am recently separated from my Babies Momma of 3, back in Jan. We have 3 little ones. I recently began dating a 18 yr old, I am 25, that's not a big deal to me, thing that gets me is we had understanding that is was just for "fun", but now getting more and more into each other. I feel real bad partly for I do not have any plans to put such a heavy burden on such a young girl to try and be any sort of step mom, I saw the toll it took on someone previously I had gotten serious with, she could not handle the whole "package" I came with and left. This 18yr is claiming she wants to continue into a serious relationship, and completely understands what I all come with, I am a good dad, I have my kids 3 days a week, each week, they've always come first. I just have a hard time believing that a 18yr old can fully comprehend what she may be getting into. I meant this only to be fun originally. She begins college next month. What do you think? Should I give her a shot? I am telling myself I should, she seems sincere in understanding what I all come with, though I wish to remain guarded for time being so if it does end, I am not heartbroken.

BTW, after my kids became attached to my last serious G/F, and I to hers(she had one), I have made it a rule to not bring the kids around until 3 months have passed, I do not want to see them get sad in knowing they will never see the person again, I believe that is the marker to know if a relationship will continue or fall apart.

[Justwantfair]

I think you acted horribly irresponsibly having a relationship, even if it is 'just for fun' when you have three children that have to be your ultimate and most important responsibility. Thankfully you have not brought her around the children, but honestly... you have too much baggage for an eighteen year old girl.

My step-mother was eighteen when she took on raising me. To this day, we discuss the mistakes she made that greatly impacted my life and I was only one child. She can honestly today say that she resented being a young mother, just because she loves my father, but she is now in her forties.

You are putting an undue burden on the girl, yourself and your children, to take this relationship to another level. You don't have to make the mistake to learn from it.

[ScottGem]

While 7 years is normally not that great a difference (as long as both are adults), I have to wonder about your situation. You, on one hand, have the responsibilities of three children, a job and who knows what else. She, on the other hand, is just beginning the "sowing wild oats" period and just barely an adult. So I really have to wonder about someone your age, taking up with someone her age.

[Mazdadude07]

Yes, that is what has been going through my Head. I really do not want this type of Burden on such a young person.

People hook up all the time, not a problem, just when they want to take it to the next level I really get thinking now, dating now is SO much different then before, am having to learn a lot, dating with kids. Hmm is there a Book for it? LOL.

[DrJ]

She is young and probably more in love with the idea of being in love with a man and having a family that she is with you.

My advice... she's going off to college. Let her go there and see what happens. If she remains faithful and honest throughout something like that then maybe she is legit.

If she succumbs to her age and being in college, so be it.

[slapshot_oi]

I just have a hard time believing that a 18yr old can fully comprehend what she may be getting into... She begins college next month... so if it does end, i am not heartbroken. .

You haven't put too much stock into the relationship anyway, so just break up with her. Date someone who's ready to settle down, not an 18-year-old freshman, she's going to want to go to frat parties and I wouldn't think that'd be the place to hang for a father.

And you, college will take away all her time, she won't even have time for a relationship.

[Mazdadude07]

ScottGem,

Have a point there, never really thought about it, she had looked me up, and pushed things forward, thinking about it now, I believe she was getting tired of the immature guys her age, and meeting me seen I am different, I have a successful career of 7 years, a wonderful Dad who's always there for my kids, and god I hope its not about the money LOL doubt it both of our families are wealthy. Me on other hand, I grew up extremely fast, my first born at 18, another at 21, and 25, flew into a professional career at 18, Never was party type guy. Gosh I hope this isn't a midlife crises!

[N0help4u]

You need to discuss all this with her. Many 18 yr olds are mature enough to know what they want. Some are content with the idea of having a relationship and settling down. She sounds like she is somewhat mature for her age and knows what she wants.
Be honest with her that you are starting to have real feelings so if you continue it isn't for fun. Does she feel the same.
Also I wouldn't introduce her to your kids until you know its going to work. I know so many moms that bring home a new daddy at least
3 or 4 or more times a year. That has to be messing with the kids emotionally.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...rt-368200.html

Make up your mind and stop this bouncing back and forth between to females. One week your back with your baby momma, and the next your dating an 18 year old. Man oh man, no wonder your confused.