[Nina1199]

New to this form so I hope I don't sound to stupid... I have/had been in this one on one relationship for 9 years now. Last Year, my guy moved 4 hours away for a job. We really didn't discuss the move he was just up and gone. He comes to visit regular when I am in town, says he wants to continue being with me. He says that when he finds a job here he will move back, it has been 8 months now and I am so unhappy and upset/depressed. I have expressed my concerns with him and he gets upset when I ask him how much longer.

I want to move on somedays and somedays I miss him so much. I really put everything into this relationship especially my friendship and that is what hurts so much. I considered him as my best friend and really my only friend as we did everything together. I am not as outgoing as he is in meeting people, I mean I know lots of people even my family, but I limited my 9 years to this guy to be left alone and saddened. I don't know what I am trying to do I find myself playing games like shutting off my phone, lying saying that I am keeping myself busy so I won't seem so stupid. Not into the internet dating thing, no going out to bars. I just miss the person I thought was my friend

[sully123]

Why didn't you go with him? The two of you didn't talk about this, he just opt and left like that? Tell us more? Were you having any problems? Or was he like with this big company and he to transfer further away?

[Nina1199]

Why didn't you go with him? The two of you didn't talk about this, he just opt and left like that? Tell us more? Were you having any problems? Or was he like with this big company and he to transfer further away?

I have my job here, he had these friends where is before he met me and they have a company so he went to work for them. We were having problems due to his business was not working but he didn't communicate with me that the business was souring, he assumed I knew, but I gave him his space as he was opening a new business and he didn't want my input because he wanted to succeed on his on. And as for me going with him, again I have my job and he moved in with these other people. He could have asked if could stay with me but I don't know if it was his pride or what.

[talaniman]

But I limited my 9 years to this guy to be left alone and saddened. I don't know what I am trying to do

You have isolated yourself, and need to have a life of your own that you enjoy, without him. Good clean fun with friends so you can be happy on your own. Your not stupid, you just need to find your own path to happiness, so no more putting yourself down, you have much to do for yourself, and not in bars, or dating sites. Avoiding those is a good wise choice you have made. See your not that bad at all, you just need a life of your own your happy with.

And as for me going with him, again I have my job and he moved in with these other people. He could have asked if could stay with me but I don't know if it was his pride or what.

This is the big part of your problem, not enough communications between you. You have become to dependent on him to make decisions and they seem to be out of the blue. After 9 years together, I would expect a lot more talking and listening between you, a lot more. You really need to get answers to your questions, and concerns to understand his plans and intentions since it affect you too, not just him.

This is a good link to give you some insights and ideas of how to deal with this Long distance relationship you find yourself in now.

Long Distance Relationship Advice | The Frisky