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AManWithNoName · Jul 5, 2009, 04:24 AM

Well, I've been going out with my girlfreind, Helen, for about a month and a few weeks. She's a gorgeous asian girl, I say asian because she's like a mix(litteraly vietnamese, white, and chinease).every time I'm with her, I feel so warm inside, so happy, she makes me smile. All my friends say I treat her "soo nice", they say I'm an angel to her, or, Haha! I'm whipped! Funny! Because I kind of am! I spoil her to death, of caurse, she doesn't like that I do, but I do it any ways.
The problem is, I'm a 16 year old, the only thing really going on in my head is pornographyl. It gets to be, that when I'm holding, kissing, or even next to her, I just want to bend her over... Well you know!
I really don't want a relationship based around sex, she already has given a hand job, and she dry humps me a lot when we make out, its kind of cute. But I really want to feel her bare skin against mine! I want to do things to her, naughty sinful things, but I don't want our relationship to be ruined! I "love"(I'm 16, I don't know what love is) her to death, when I'm with her, I can't but help to smile, or laugh at nothing, she just makes me happy, and thgats a big deal!
Sex is not a good thing for a 14 year old girl and a 16 year old gut to be doing, and don't worry, she turns 15 in augest. I need a good substitute, not something lame like double dating, or minigolf, I mean something we can both do, together, that will bring us closer, physically, with out any vaginas being penetrated (other than french kissing, of caurse)
Please help, I hate kids

SuggaMama · Jul 5, 2009, 04:48 AM

In my opinion, I think you see the girl too much and have become to attached to her. When you are to attached to someone it's harder to let go. If your relationship ever breaks or something happens then its going to be painful for you to move on, I think you shudnt see her as much as you do because you may feel happier on the inside but you have to think about the future and what will you do if she isn't there one day? However the thing about sex, I'm glad your not forcing her or anyhting- think about it in this way if you wer 14 would you really want your other half to be obbsessed and want sex with u? Age doesn't really matter but because she's still at school I think you should keep your relationship as a normal simple one now for, don't lead her into things that won't benefit her, it may seem OK at the time but something bad will happen because she's only 14.

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 5, 2009, 04:51 AM

Nothing wrong with dating her.. If she makes you happy keep dating. Do more group activities, activities with family and keep out of situations that can lead to sex.

Holly23 · Jul 5, 2009, 04:56 AM

Just because she's turning 15 in August doesn't mean she's going to have sex with you then,whatever the law,its when she feels ready,then shel have sex with you.I don't see why you don't go out with some one your own age?
Well there's lots of other things you can do physically without sex but Id rather not say,maybe someone else here might..

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 5, 2009, 04:58 AM

There is nothing wrong with you dating her. When it comes to sex... that is a different story. Continue dating her. Avoid situations were it can happen.

AManWithNoName · Jul 5, 2009, 05:04 AM

Having feelings for a girl, has nothing at all to do with her age Hollie. Yeah, she's kind of young, but not really, I'm 16, she's almost 15, I just turned 16 also
I don't plan on having sex with her when she turns 15, never said I did, I just don't want the situation, where we're making out or something and then next thing you know we're naked and doing it, because I know when the situation comes up, I won't do anything to stop it, what streight teenage guy would?
As for the substitutions, something that will stimulate us
And I don't see her that much, schoold out! I see her once or twice a week, a Monday then a Saturday or something

kaseyatim · Jul 11, 2009, 10:09 PM

Maybe you should tell her how you are feeling even that you physically want to but emotionall don't want to and you don't want to put yourselves in asituation where thathappens maybe together*as a couple* can come up with alternate activies that would derive you from sexual activity... please trust good things come to those hwho wait and even when it seems so right usually its not so keep your head on yor shoulders you are doing the right thing (coming from a 20yo mommy)

Justwantfair · Jul 11, 2009, 10:52 PM

Love and lust are different. What you have described is lust and for a 16 year old boy, it is an all powerful thing. To help control the situation because you wish to obstain from sex, increase the amount of self-love sex that you are having. It can help to ease your feelings of lust.

Although it wasn't the answer you wanted, finding more situations that can prevent things getting intimate and heated will also help control the situation.

If you feel that you love this girl, love is a lot more then lust and you will have to spend you time getting to be 'best friends' while simply being affectionate.

You will have plenty of time to handle lust in other ways when you are both ready. Remember that when you are ready, part of that responsibility is protection, protection and more protection.

HelpinHere · Jul 12, 2009, 10:51 PM

Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

I don't plan on having sex with her when she turns 15, never said I did, I just don't want the situation, where we're making out or somthing and then next thing you know we're naked and doing it, because I know when the situation comes up, I won't do anything to stop it, what streight teenage guy would?

Well, for one, I would.
If you really want to know about that relationship, ask me about it.
I'm not ashamed of it, but I'm not proud of it either.

It seems to me that these make-out sessions you have send your hormones into a frenzy. It takes a lot of self-control to stop yourself. Frankly, just by what you're admitting, you don't have it.
First off, don't let her give you handjobs. If you can't stop her from doing that, then don't let her dry hump you. If you can't excersize enough self control to prevent that, don't make out with her where she is in a position to do that (laying down). If you can't do that, then don't make out with her at all.
You need to take it a step back (or several) until you can control yourself.
You said yourself you don't know what love is, and you also said you don't want kids. Two of the biggest reasons NOT to have sex right there.

Also, on the topic of pornography, does your girlfriend know you do that? Although it is a (somewhat) safer alternative to sex, it is still not healthy. I would suggest limiting yourself from, or abstaining from, that, as much as possible. Pornographic content, especially some of the extreme stuff on the internet nowadays (i.e. the immensly popular 2G1C) can damage, warp, and even partially destroy young impressionable minds such as yours.

By your account of her actions, I would guess that she is not a virgin?

Trust me, I know what you are going through (as I went through a VERY similar situation not too long ago) and I applaud you on your efforts to salvage yourself (this site, for example).
If you ever want any more personal help, I'll be more than glad to give it.