[Ren6]

Hi folks;
I dated a man twenty-eight years ago who has stalked me on and off since we broke up, about twenty-seven years ago. I had to go to court to obtain a restraining order from him six years ago. Although he lived several states away, he was constantly phoning my house and sending abusive post-cards to me.

The internet has allowed harassment to reach new highs, or should I say lows... Last January, he posted two ads on craigslist using my full name. These posts were highly offensive and abusive, and it took me hours to get these ads deleted(plus the replies to the ads, which all featured my full name). I called the police, and an officer was sent to my house.

My partner and I googled my ex, discovered his place of employment, and the officer was going to call him at his workplace the following Monday.

Repeated efforts to contact the police officer (plus a detective) proved fruitless, perhaps because my ex never threatened to harm me in any of these ads. I hoped that maybe the cop had contacted my ex, and things would die down.

Two weeks ago, another ad appeared on craigslist. This one did not mention me by name. My ex is posing as a lesbian and naming himself as a former passionate love... it's really bizarre. I copied it, but didn't report it to the police. Yesterday, I received a post card in the mail, in which he greatly demeans me and refers to my life as pathetic. He didn't sign his name, but it's definitely his hand writing, plus he refers to events in my life that only he would know.

Do I call the cops? He hasn't completely "crossed the line" yet, but I know he will. I believe he's mentally ill and really wants me to respond in some way to what he's throwing at me. It's really freaky to know that my rejection of him has fueled an obsession that will never go away as long as he lives.

Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks...

[justcurious55]

Keep reporting it to the cops. If you need to get another restraining order (I assume the other one expired since it sounds like the cops didn't do anything recently) you'll have the reports to back it up. Also, you should be reporting these to craigslist. What he's doing is illegal and against their policy. They should be helping you get rid of his posts.

[Ren6]

Thanks, justcurious...
I did report it to craigslist, they haven't responded. This last one didn't name me, so it's technically not offensive. I have no idea if my ex is trying to trick me into responding, or if he's trying to get other women in the community to respond, in order that he can bad-mouth me to them. I am a lesbian and the gay community is fairly small in my town.

I'll call the cops again. It sucks, because I don't feel that this sort of crime is taken seriously, as he hasn't yet threatened me... but it's horrible to wonder when the next offensive thing is going to pop up online or in my mail box. Also, his hatred for me and need for vengeance is so strong, I worry that he may just "lose it" and venture to my state. I just don't know.

P.S.
Yes, the restraining order was good for only two years. I wish I could get a permanent one.

[justcurious55]

I might be wrong, but I thought there was an option to renew restraining orders?

[Ren6]

I'll ask the officer who is on this case. I hope it's possible. It's hard to prove the online stuff, but I don't think it would be impossible.

[JudyKayTee]

I would retain an Attorney and sue for intentional infliction of emotional abuse.

[jenniepepsi]

Call the cops first of all.

Change your phone number regularly once a month.

I may be wrong, so someone correct me if I am, but I THINK you can go to the post office and refuse mail from a certain person, or from 'unmarked' mail (ie, no return address, no 'from' name)

[Ren6]

Thanks for the suggestions...
First, I have to pin down exactly where he is. A white pages search shows his address as being in KA. However, the post card I received is from S.D. I think he's on a family vacation and trying to throw me off.

He hasn't called me this time, yet. The cop associated with this case told me to save everything, print off all craigslist postings and save all written communication. He's pretty mentally unstable, so I know that sooner or later he's going to do something majorly stupid, and I'll be able to get a restraining order again. It's really an awful experience, as he perjures himself in court, and produces false evidence against me! I wish he would drop off the face of the earth, I really do.

[justcurious55]

I wish I had more advice to offer. Hope everything works out for you though.

[Ren6]

i wish i had more advice to offer. hope everything works out for you though.

Thanks. I appreciate all the advice I've gotten. We'll see what happens...

[s_cianci]

Document, print and save any and all correspondence you receive from him, whether it be online or through the mail. Each time something new appears, contact the police.

[Ren6]

Document, print and save any and all correspondence you receive from him, whether it be online or through the mail. Each time something new appears, contact the police.

I will, thanks...