[jayden221]

Just got a job offer out of state, and am moving with my wife and two daughters
And my son says he will stop at nothing to come with me since he has been wanting
To live with me for his high school years.
He is a straight-A's honors student and knows what he wants and what
Is good for him. I am a good father, have paid child support throughout his life,
And am NOT in arrears, hold a masters degree and neither of us want this to get ugly.

How likely am I to gain custody of my 14 year-old son if it is what he wants?

[Justwantfair]

A child's wishes are sometimes heard by some judge's but many are not.

Your best bet is to come to an agreement with your ex about your child's wishes.

[jayden221]

A child's wishes are sometimes heard by some judge's but many are not.

Your best bet is to come to an agreement with your ex about your child's wishes.

Thanks justwantfair, but both my son and I are expecting his mother to fight this, as she has often been difficult about the most logical of situations if it involves me being somewhat happy... we don't see an agreement happening... we just want enough information stating that it is possible, so we can provide her with it before she decides to get ugly... btw, not a come on, but if that is your real pic, you are stunning...

[Justwantfair]

The pic is Megan Fox. (Wish it was me) ;)

Fighting this can be a lengthy battle, you are looking at probably about a year if you want to fight this out in court. A lot of court's are fairly status quo, unless there is a problem.

What is your current visitation and custody agreement? Is there a chance that she can look at her child's wishes and interest over her own?

[jayden221]

That IS megan fox, huh? Oh well... your interest in my dilemma is attractive enough... basically, my son has been coming to my house every other weekend for the past 12+ years... he turns 14 in November... he comes over for 6 weeks in the summer: 2 in June, 2 in July and 2 in August... christmas breaks and spring breaks... all defined by shared custody papers... I have basically held up my end of the outlined deal because it is the right thing to do, and because any other way and she has and would just not meet me at the pickup spot and I wouldn't see him... she has never told me her addresses, or new phone numbers... I speak to him about visitation adjustments per her orders... it has basically been one-sided and over the years he has grown to see how unfair she has been to me and to him by the way she treats me... I have been with my wife for 10 years overall, married for five, and his environment has been consistent on this end... over there, his mom is about to be married for a second time (first one ended after less than 1 year on her infidelity, how our relationship ended).. she has had multiple/annual boyfriends and has moved several times... basically inconsistent... he feels he is ready to be with his dad as he goes through adolescence... I am a licensed social worker with a masters degree and of course I agree that being with me would be advatageous for his development...

[Justwantfair]

When is the move?
Have you discussed any of the changes with her previous to this?
Where are the current custody papers filed?

It sounds to me like a guardian ad litem (GAL) would be the best solution, which in Illinois is an attorney that represents the child's best interest, while you both may still need your own attorneys as well. A GAL would also be the best voice to the court for your son's wishes.

[jayden221]

Well I leave Ohio at the end of July to start aug 3rd in North Carolina... my wife and the girls will stay behind to get the house ready to be sold and come down later... he is starting 8th grade and wants to come down for high school, or sooner if she wants to get ugly and make his life hell for even considering moving, which he stated she may do.. custody papers were set in Ohio... trying to do things early so by next summer, everything is out of the way and prepared for him to move seamlessly...

[Justwantfair]

That is a wonderful plan. I would consult with an attorney and file a modification of custody. With a current shared custody arrangement, your son's wishes, moving for an employment opportunity and enough time to handle the situation properly, you will probably find yourself in a 'best interests' case.

Personally, I would make one attempt to speak with the mother to come to a time schedule agreement for following the move. If that doesn't go well, I would start calling attorneys and file for the modification.

[jayden221]

You have been very helpful... he is cautious about telling her on his own, so we will talk to her together when I pick him up this next time... since I last posted, a law office returned my call and stated that his opinion would weigh rather heavily considering his age and maturity... I have a free consultation next Tuesday with anotheer one... I would like to get as many lawyer-specific opinions on paper, typed up and prepared for her, stating that this case, naturally should be with his best interests in mind, but if she wants to make it a fight, I would like to give her a heads up that I've done the background research, even willing to give her the names of the lawyers I have spoken with, so that it doesn't have to get as drawn out and ugly as she may initially want to make it... she doesn't need to jeopardize the quality of her relationship with him throughout this process... mind if I ask you your background/direct experience with this type of situation?

[Justwantfair]

His opinion will carry weight, if a judge is willing to speak with him.

Information is always your best defense with a rational co-parent. If she is reasonable and can see that it is what her son wants and can see the value of avoiding spending countless income on attorney's fees in a drawn out battle, then you will hopefully get her to concede to the agreement. Talk to your son and her also about changing the schedule as a long distance move will make it more difficult for him to spend time with her and that will probably be a major concern of hers. If you can come up with a comparable schedule, where she has a majority of the summer and spring and Christmas breaks then she may also be more agreeable.

I am a paralegal in Civil Rights Law. My experience in Family Law is 7 years with my own personal non-stop custody case, where I have dealt with most everything that the Family Law attorneys deal with on a personal level.

[jayden221]

Unfortunately she and rationality mix like oil and water... as I told him when living with me was first brought up, and it was still to be in Ohio, I will do whatever it takes to make visitation difficulties as minimal as possible... monthly cheap roundtrip flights... weekend drives, webcams, whatever it takes... he knows he is off to college after high school anyway, so its not like he would be living with me for 13 years like he lived with her... so glad you have been willing to help...

[Justwantfair]

Not a problem, good luck to you and keep us posted.

[ScottGem]

In all states, the decision on custody is made by a judge based on the best interests of the child. Some states have guidelines on how much weight to put on the child's preference. I couldn't find anything for Ohio on that.

The only thing found was a statement that Ohio courts place a high premium on the finality of custody orders, which does not work in your favor.

Bottomline is you need to file for a modification of the support order in Ohio. A judge will review the petition. Whether he talks to your son or not or listens to his preference is up to the judge.

[jayden221]

Sounds like a roadblock, but a surmountable one hopefully... will look into how to modify a custody order asap... hopefully I can file it alone... don't want to pay fees until absolutely necessary