[mistyfields]

I am so confused. I have a 7yr old daughter who has not seen or heard from her biological father in 5 years. When we first split (we were never married) I gave him my phone number and address and told him to send me $100 a month to help with her because I knew money was tight for him.I took her to see him and thought he should still be in her life. He didn't want to help with money at all.He decided he wanted custody of her but when I got an attorney, he took off and moved to NC and hasn't EVER paid child support or made any effort to contact her. Now my husband wants to adopt her as his own because he's been the only father she knows. She doesn't remember much of her real father. All she says she remembers is " he scared me when he hit mommy and not play scaring." I do not want him anywhere near her and am glad he's not in the picture, but, can I file abandonment and not contact him at all or do we have to see if he contests and if he does contest what would his chances be of getting visitation even? Wouldn't he have to pay back child support to see her? Can I prevent him from seeing her and allow my husband to adopt her?

[Synnen]

Parental rights and parental obligations are two different things.

If he goes to court and is awarded visitation, then you cannot stop court-ordered visitation because of lack of payment.

Then, too---if he does that, then you go to court and get a child support order, and he owes you arrears as well.

You DO need the biological father's consent to adopt, or you need to PROVE that the biological parent is a danger to the child.

Honestly, I would not ever go through ANY kind of adoption without a lawyer. I'd go see one if I were you, and let him walk you through the process.