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jacknally · Jun 22, 2009, 05:37 PM

I have a five year old little gift from God. Her father loves her but is a functioning alcoholic I cannot trust that he will not drink and drive with her, or meet her needs. We are married and I have stayed because I want her to be safe and I have been able to make things work so far. Today he wanted to take her on a 4 wheeler ride after he had had a few. I said, she can stay with me you go ahead, he became argumentative and said he wanted a divorce because I was "psycho". I am unsure of what to do and need advice.
Thanks

JudyKayTee · Jun 22, 2009, 05:52 PM

If your daughter is in danger you need to protect her by whatever means that takes.

Perhaps divorce is the answer; perhaps divorce is not the answer. Perhaps he needs to speak to someone familiar with the treatment of alcoholism.

I realize you have stayed and kept her safe but it sounds like at least today there's a thin line between safe and unsafe.

jacknally · Jun 22, 2009, 06:22 PM

I guess I thougt this site was different. Wanted an answer not an opinion. I know what's in my daughters best interest that's why I have stayed and am with her all the time, except of course school. I was wondering if anyone knew what it takes to prove a father unfit. I want to know what the courts need as proof to begin building a case. Supportive opinions are fine. Thank you.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 22, 2009, 06:26 PM

Proving him unfit?

If there a history of police reports, history of DUI's
Perhaps domiestic violence

Is there a history of him hurting hisself when drinking.

What evidence do you have that you can present in court.

You will have to take evidence that is allowed within your court, ( not opinon or second hand knowledge) that shows that he can not care for the child, will the child go hungry, will the child be in danger. will the child not be cared for properly.
And that evidence has to be first hand, and documented

stevetcg · Jun 23, 2009, 04:43 AM

Unless he has harmed the child or put the child is verifiable danger (i.e. got a DUI with her in the car) you are going to be very hard pressed to have him proven unfit. You can expresses your concerns in court and ask that he is not to be given unsupervised visitiation, but barring some concrete evidence of danger, you will likely be denied.

And a quick point - you cannot prove him unfit until you are in the divorce process.

JudyKayTee · Jun 23, 2009, 05:57 AM

Originally Posted by jacknally

I guess I thougt this site was different. Wanted an answer not an opinion. I know whats in my daughters best interest thats why I have stayed and am with her all the time, except of course school. I was wondering if anyone knew what it takes to prove a father unfit. I want to know what the courts need as proof to begin building a case. Supportive opinions are fine. Thank you.

I gave you an answer - probably divorce. Building a case while you are still married to him and your child may very well be in danger is not a smart idea.

The fact that you feel he is dangerous to the child but have chosen to stay is going to argue against yourself.

pinknbrown · Oct 27, 2010, 05:42 PM

EtG, alcohol testing (ethyl glucuronide) is a relatively new way to test someone for alcohol in their blood. The big deal behind EtG testing is being able to test for alcohol in a person's blood, long after a person has consumed it. Because drugs are easier to detect longer after they have been consumed verses the rapid dissipation of alcohol consumption, EtG alcohol testing is an exciting advancement in alcohol testing.

EtG hair drug testing has been around for a little while, but EtG hair alcohol testing and EtG urine alcohol testing is fairly recent.

http://www.my-health-n-fitness.com/5926/with-etg-testing-what-is-the-difference-between-urine-alcohol-testing-and-hair-alcohol-testing/