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TamiAnn · Jun 21, 2009, 05:10 PM

I have a daughter that turned 18 in Jan 2009. On her 18 birthday her father contacted her via the internet (not sure if I can say which website). 18 years ago I contact his home at which time he was out of town and left a message with his roommate stating that I had had a daughter, her name and that his friend was the father. He was 36, I was 19. I was never sure if he received the message, however found out after him contacting her via internet and talking to him that he did. When she was born I put her up for adoption and then fought to get her back. That was when I called him. He knew he had a child and decided he didn't want to be bothered. Those were his words to me. I did try to find him once in a while over the years, but nothing serious. My question is can I go after him for back child support if there was no support ordered before. Especially since I couldn't find him. And the fact that he knew he had a child. I live in Texas figured that might be important information.
Thanks for any support I can get.

ScottGem · Jun 21, 2009, 05:22 PM

Sorry but that ship as sailed. You cannot ask for support for a period prior to the filing and its basically too late to file.

You did not need to know where he was to file for support. You could have and should have filed as soon as she was born. Had you done so, you could, now go after him, but you didn't.

On the other hand, I would tell your daughter that the only reason he is contacting her now is because he feels he is free from paying support. I would also point out, that a 36 yr old man who would have sex with a 19 yr old is not the nicest person.

But, ultimately, the decision to have a relationship with him is hers.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 21, 2009, 05:22 PM

After the child is already 18, no you can not file for child support

You had 18 years to decide to do that and did not want to, until now after the father contacts the child.

He appears to wait till the child is a adult to contact, which is the correct way when there was no other contract.

ScottGem · Jun 21, 2009, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

He appears to wait till the child is a adult to contact, which is the correct way when there was no other contract.

I have to disagree with that. The "correct" way is to stand by the girl you got pregnant and support your child. Not to duck out and hide until its safe to contact her free of support obligations.

This guy sound like a coward, a user and a exploiter to me. I hope your daughter isn't taken n by him.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 21, 2009, 05:41 PM

Yes, that would have been right from the beginning but for those that wait 15 plus years, the same we tell the 15 year olds looking for their "father" we always say wait till you are 18 and a adult.
He waited till the child could make her own choice of contact

TamiAnn · Jun 21, 2009, 07:50 PM

Let me ask this then, when she was born and I had put her up for adoption, I didn't put her fathers name on the birth certificate because I wouldn't be able to put her up for adoption without his signature. I lived in Florida at the time. I have another child with my x-husband who was order to pay child support and hasn't paid in 8 years, if I can't go after him for non payment because I can't find him ( according to child support inforcement in florida). And the Dade county court house. How could I get a order on someone not on the birth certificate and couldn't find?
Thank you

And for the one who says he waited because it was the right thing to do. That's bull, he waited because he didn't want to pay, that is what he said.

I would probably never even think about child support except the fact that he knew and didn't care and only now for his own selfish reasons which is he's old and alone, he decides to come into her life.

rookie231 · Jun 21, 2009, 08:09 PM

So, 18 years ago, you deprived a man the right to be a father, by not putting him on a birth certificate, because it was easier to go through the adoption process and now want him to pay you back support?

stinawords · Jun 21, 2009, 08:17 PM

The way you file for child support on a child that does not have a father listed on the birth certificate is to get a court date tell the judge whom you believe the father to be and the judge will order a DNA test. You obviously did know where he was at at the time because you left a message for him. You can not just play the innocent one when you had 18 years to file. As for the other order of support you have for your other child... that amount of arrears will not go away. It will be there even when the bio father is 95 years old if he hasn't paid. You can also contact an agency to try to find him for you.

TamiAnn · Jun 21, 2009, 08:30 PM

To the one who said I deprived the father the right to be a father.. No I contacted the last number I had to contact him at, after I got her back and asked if he wanted to acknowledge her or not. He never contacted me back. So read the message's right.(There are a few) He was deprived because he choose to not be in her life. He had my parents address my parents phone number and my name. I always listed myself in the phone book so he could find me. He waited till she was 18 not me. He never looked for her until she was 18. Because he didn't want to pay. Those were his words.

rookie231 · Jun 21, 2009, 08:39 PM

And now he not going to have to. One message left (if I am reading the message right) is an "effort" on your part?