[tltx1102]

I'm 19 living in san francisco, recently my girlfriend's older sister, (I'll use the cap letter A to represent her), gave birth to a baby girl on the end of April this year. Subject A (the mother) is also 19, lived with the parents in a 4 bedroom, 2 story house, unemployed, part-time student. Since the beginning of subject A's relationship with subject B (the suppose father of the baby girl), he decides to move himself into my girlfriends house. Subject B (the boyfriend) works for fed-ex as a driver, 24-25 of age, mild gambler. They are not married, because 1 of them don't want to. The baby was unplanned and was not mention to the parents until the 7th month of pregnancy. My girlfriend's mother gave subject A large amount of her own blood savings for her baby before it was due. But subject A does not know how to save, for she spend more than 3/4th before the baby was even due. Due to that reason the money was tight for my girlfriends mother. After subject A gave birth, my girlfriend's mother is stuck at home most of the time taking care of Subject A and B's daughter. Even though she offered, I believe there should be a limit. My girlfriend's mother is going mental from basically being locked up in her house. Subject A goes to school for a few hours a day and uses it as an excuse, her boyfriend, subject B uses the excuse that he works and is too tire to care for the child. Subject B works part-time. The 2 of them are really taking advantage of my girlfriend's mother, money and the free babysitting. Subject B does not contributes much at all, he lives there, yet does not contribute for the bills, after work he just come back and play games on the laptop. So I want to know what can I do to relief my future mother-in-law of this duty to take care of her daughter's daughter? I though about calling child services but I am unless if I could deem these unfit parents.

[N0help4u]

No it is not unfit. It is taking advantage of but it is not abuse, neglect or unfit. The mother whose house it is will have to be the one to say when enough is enough.

[twinkiedooter]

Basically if the mother of the older sister puts up with her boyfriend living there free and using her as a free babysitter, etc. then you need to mind your own business. She will either kick out the freeloaders or make them pay rent. Sounds like she has mush for brains and has a heart too big and is pushed around by big sis. If this situation bothers you that much, maybe you should spell her a few times and keep the kid yourself. Might be a good experience for you to see what being married and having kids is all about. Ditto for your girlfriend the younger sister to spell mom as well on the kidsitting chores. You both will score points with mom and maybe mom won't be so stressed out and can start thinking straight again when not under such stress. Her daughter definitely needs to grow up and the boyfriend definitely needs to grow up. Maybe that will happen one day and they will move out. But then, I'm an optimist and more than likely they will still be living with mom some 30 years later unless mom gets her act in gear and the mush for brains somehow turns into thinking matter and she starts to hand out ultimatums. Having given her spoiled brat all that money ahead of time somehow indicates to me that mom won't change anything except more diapers when kid #2 shows up soon. Obviously dad takes a back seat to mom and big sis so don't look to him to change the status quo either. He'll be changing more diapers as well.

[Fr_Chuck]

Sounds like 80 percent of most poorer or single families to me.

So the person being taken advantage of, they have to learn to say NO