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suffering · Jun 17, 2009, 04:18 AM

My husband has been calling this woman and speaking to her on the phone late at night and stating I am crazy when I bring it up. He confides in her. We do not ever talk. He states he is doing nothing wrong. I say he is, there is so much affection in his tone. He even has state he wants to take her out. From what I can tell she will not, because she is not his wife. Well I have offered many times to divorce him. He is so worried about the money he will have to share to support me. Am I right in believing it is an emotional affair.

tickle · Jun 17, 2009, 05:22 AM

Well of course, that is what it appears to be from your explanation. Point is though, what is the other woman up to on the other end. You say from what you can tell, she won't go out with him because he is married, but why is she spending so much time on the phone. If she wasn't interested, she should not be having any contact with him. Could be she is leading him on, playing.

From your indication, divorce has already been discussed between you and he. What are your plans in this area ? Is that what you want to pursue eventually for your own piece of mind ?

Ms tickle

ZoeMarie · Jun 17, 2009, 05:27 AM

Has something happened to where he feel like he can't confide in you? Or is he just choosing not to? How long has this been going on?

Jake2008 · Jun 17, 2009, 07:10 AM

I think hearing a conversation late at night, between your husband and another woman, in which he is affectionate, confides in her, and indicates he wants to take her out, is, indeed an affair.

It would have taken time for him to establish that comfort level with her.

That he does not deny it, and implies that there is nothing wrong, suggests to me at least, he's ready, willing and able to go from phone talk, to meeting her and having a full blown affair.

My question to you is, why do you put up with it.

otherwoman2008 · Jun 18, 2009, 11:19 PM

He's definitely having an affair. I'm a pro at being the other woman and no doubt it's going on emotionally or otherwise. Just talking in my book is crossing the line. That woman's not stupid... she knows she has no business talking to him late at night.

Being on that end I can tell you he will lie to you and put it all on you that you're the crazy one. Don't let what so many women do and take it. The longer this goes on the more damage it will do and may not be reversible. I have watched the wife go through hell when this gets dragged out for too long.

Get this one right out there in the open. Men want to believe women are dumb sometimes. We're not. Affairs are a symptom of some bigger problem of the relationship and not the real issue. Good luck!

ImInLoveWithHim · Jun 18, 2009, 11:23 PM

I would have to say that yes that would be considered emotional cheating

N0help4u · Jun 19, 2009, 03:07 PM

He may feel that you and he do not know how to communicate so he has gone to this other woman. First you should try getting into marriage counseling. If it gets worse and not better and you know you have no future don't worry if he wants a divorce or not just go for it.
This might just be someone therapeutic for him to talk to but it seems to be taking away from your relationship rather than adding to it.

Gemini54 · Jun 23, 2009, 07:54 PM

Firstly, it doesn't sound as if your relationship is healthy.

You don't talk, you offer to divorce him and he talks intimately to another woman on the phone. (Then he accuses you of being crazy when you ask him about it.)

It sounds as if any intimacy in your marriage is long gone, so I would have a long honest talk. What does she mean to him? What do you feel about each other? Is divorce the best option?

In the end, money is just money and you can come to some arrangements about it.

becca0194 · Jun 23, 2009, 08:17 PM

It's totally an emotional affair. What is it that YOU want? You state have offered a divorce. Is that because you want one?

flayvur · Jun 23, 2009, 08:29 PM

That's really messed up! He's cheating and don't let him tell you he's not. People women and men always seem to think things are greener on the other side but get over there you'll find out it's artificial . When this happens to a women you go threw this kind of a cycle first you get territorial you want your man and no one will take him, then you get to the point you'll use sex, money, manipulation whatever you can use to keep him, then you get dam angry and want to hurt him or her. This is what happened in my marriage. I was so confused about whether I should keep trying to make my marriage work or call it quit's. When I finally threw my hands up and asked GOD to remove him from my life if he wasn't suppose to be there then and only then did things change. When you show a man that you want him and gook over him he'll treat you bad. But start acting like you'll be find without him and believe it he'll get back in line, but if he doesn't GOOD RIDDINS!