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    krzekali89's Avatar
    krzekali89 Posts: 66, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jun 15, 2009, 12:17 PM
    My boyfriend hurts me so bad
    My boyfriend syays things that hurt me so bad. He made me move 80 miles away from my family and friends, I had to quit my job and moved in with him. I've been living with him for a year now. We have good times but we have bad to. I'm so upset I'm literally writing this through tears. He spent all of our money on a new explorer rather then moving closer to my family (which was what the money was for) and now he's calling me names because he makes more money then me and pays the bills and I can't take it I want to leave but he ruined my transmission and I can't drive that far to get away. I don't want to be with him anymore and at the same time I can't imagine living without him... he's going to stalk me until I take him back, and I'm not strong enough to resist. Plese someone I feel so alone. I know someone is going to call me stupid for being with him, but I have no place to go.
    88sunflower's Avatar
    88sunflower Posts: 1,207, Reputation: 462
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jun 15, 2009, 12:20 PM
    First of all he can't make you do anything. You made the choice on your own to do the things you did. So make the choice again to go home. Do you have family or parents that can help you get home. If your working buy a one way bus ticket home. If he is bothering you get a restraining order. I won't tell you to leave him if that's not what you want to hear. But I will tell you that your never going to be happy being with someone with this behavior. If anything it will get worse.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Jun 15, 2009, 12:21 PM

    Go back to your family. You can either choose to live with trash or throw it away for good. The first step is finding the trash can... now aim, and fire! You deserve better and you know it. You CAN (NEVER say can't) live without him, you are just afraid of change.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #4

    Jun 15, 2009, 12:23 PM

    How old are you?
    How did he make you do those things. If you are not a minor, you made the decision to do it and it turned out to be a bad one.
    I suggest you save up enough money to catch a bus or train to get back to your family.
    You Can live without someone who abuses you, in fact you can live better.
    Save up your money and leave or go to a shelter until you get the money saved.
    I wish you well.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Jun 15, 2009, 12:35 PM

    In my town trash day is Tuesday, which is where this arsehole should be


    Call you family, ask for help from them. Call the cops and seek out a restraining order. You don't need him in your life to be strong
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Jun 15, 2009, 01:47 PM

    Ask Me Help Desk - Search Results

    As your other posts have indicated, you have had many questions about this guy for quite a while, but you stayed, and followed him, and allowed him to treat you the way he did, despite some advice not to.

    Forget about getting sympathy by saying he made you do it. You had a choice, and you made it. Now you have another choice to make, stay or leave. No more excuses, make a choice, then do it.

    I advise you to go home, and regroup, and rebuild your life, and make better choices for yourself in the future.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Jun 15, 2009, 03:13 PM

    If your scare of him and think he will stalk you until you return back to him cal 1-800-799-safe. To many females are being killed due to their controlling, pyscho ex-boyfriends.

    A girl just got killed by her ex because she left her ex. He stalk her and she got a restraing order against him but he still killed her.

    Talk to your family and make them aware of his behavior and leave. Maybe they can help you and if they can't the number posted will.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Jun 15, 2009, 03:57 PM
    I agree she could leave asap and when he is at work so he can't persuade her to stay since her willpower is low.
    Xrayman's Avatar
    Xrayman Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 193
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Jun 22, 2009, 07:18 PM

    A bus ticket/train ticket would be highly unlikely to be more than $30. Save your pennies and run to the next bus/train out of there. TELL THE AUTHORITIES AND YOUR FAMILY what is going on. A united front against this abuser is what is needed-abusers rely on minimising your influence by belittling (calling you names, joking about your lack of money), minimising your influence in the outside world (scaring/removing you away from family and friends) and using the I'M THE POWER IN THIS RELATIONSHIP scare tactic. You can counter this pissweak, insignificant, piece of lint by showing your power by leaving without words. Just by your physical absence.

    Go NOW! Your family and friends and LOVE await you.
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Jun 22, 2009, 07:33 PM
    You're only his victim if you allow yourself to be. So stop allowing it. If he takes your money, stop making it accessible to him! You can get away. You just need to be willing to do the work. You can't imagine life without him? How about this: you're back with your friends and family. You're independent on your own. You don't need a man. You don't have anyone putting you down. How is that? If you choose to belief that you're not strong enough to resist, then of course you won't be able to. But the key word in that sentence was "choose." if you choose that you're going to be strong there is nothing to stop you from packing your bags and getting on a train or bus or plane or whatever it takes. There's also nothing wrong with leaving while he's at work or having your mother, aunt, cousin, sister, brother, father, or friends come get you. Those are just a few people I imagine would support you.
    winding200's Avatar
    winding200 Posts: 167, Reputation: 40
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Jun 23, 2009, 06:02 AM

    Dear krzekali89,
    Please run away ASAP! Stay with your family for a while, raise your strength, and be independent. You are young and you have plenty of good opportunity in your future.
    You will be so glad you did it one day in very near future. I promise your life will be 100 times better without him. Your future is so bright! Go now!
    File a compliant if he stalks you. He is threatening you, but he will not do any significant things to you since he is looser. Normally loosers have only a big mouth. In worst case, police will protect you. What can you loose? Run!

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