[johncold]

My Best Friend of 5yrs won't talk to me now and hasn't done so for a month or so. You see I annoyed her by sending her a few (2) snotty texts because she never answers my calls or responds to my texts anymore. When I asked her to call into my house one day on her way home from somewhere she didn't text me to say she would or wouldn't call in and I was waiting for around an hour for her. So the next day day I sent her a message asking what happened that she didn't call in and that a text would have been nice to let me know if you weren't calling in. She got all upset & angry saying that she shouldn't feel under pressure to text her friends back. Now she's not talking to me even though I have apologised for those texts, I've sent her messages and no one reply in the last month. All the help I have given her & everything I have done for her over the last 5yrs, you think she be able to get over it and start talking again. If she thinks anything of our friendship at all, she'll talk to me but she won't. I don't know what's going with her and its driving me mad and really pissing me off. Why won't she talk to me.

[Jake2008]

It sounds like the friendship has run its course.

You can't keep a friend by obligation. That she has accepted help from you does not mean she is obliged to be your friend.

Nor does she have to respond to you texting her to stop in at your house. You extended more of a demand than an invitation, and she is not obligated to respond in my opinion.

It may be that she has simply decided herself that she wants more indepence from being your best friend, and needs a break. Sometimes too much togetherness drives people apart. We expect too much, or the relationship becomes one sided. Perhaps you needing her as a friend, is now just not equal to her needing you.

I think that because she has pretty much stopped all communication with you, and as much as that makes you angry and upset, there is nothing you can do about it, as there is nothing you can do to make her respond.

You may never know here reasons completely, she's not obligated to explain herself either, so perhaps it is time to just put this friendship in the past, and move on.

[ZoeMarie]

In addition to the previous post, I think it's common courtesy to respond when someone sends you a message. If she had stopped responding to you prior to your texts that upset you, then that's not really even a good friend.

[MsMewiththat]

I think sometimes too that it's important to be a friend while needing your friends. Does that make sense. You never know what that person is going through and maybe she is having some issues of her own and needs a little space. Sometimes friends can take so much time and energy from you that you need to step away and catch your breathe. You may not even know that you are doing it, but it is hard to be there all the time for everybody. I'm going through a little of that right now where a friend is no needy that she keeps me so busy that if I am not ar work or not dealing with my son or running a million kids around I am either looking at her and listening to her problems or she is on the phone and I am listening to her problems. TIME OUT!! I do that by not answering the phone or takng her calls couple of days is all, but if she pressured me beyond that I might grow resentful and push away. Give her space. Respect her space.

[0rphan]

I think you've made a rod for your own back...

First you send her a few snotty text and expect her to feel good about it.

Then you ask her to call at your house on her way home, assuming that she will, you then get really angry because she doesn't.

The promise was not even made to call at your house by her... you just went ahead assuming too much.

The help you have given her is immaterial, this is not the issue here.

You need to realise that she may also have things to do, places to go, people to see that does not include you.

You seem to be getting very obsessive of your friend, dictating to her what she should or should not do, it could be this that is pushing her away.

Don't keep sending text messages, it will annoy her even more,especially if she will not answer, there is no point.

You need to step back for a while go about your daily life and leave her alone to do the same.

Hopefully when things calm down, you will come together as friends again.

[alana012]

Same thing happened to me. My ex-bestfriend would ignore my texts, and calls. When I did hang out with her she would be on her phone all day, and I'd get very frustrated. We got into a huge argument, she pretty much dismissed me, and its been going on for years. Now it's gotten to the point where she says hi to me, and I want nothing to do with her, cause I felt like she treated me badly over the years of our friendship, and trust me, I put up with a lot.

One thing I've realized is, if a friendship is one-sided, it will never work. If someone wants to be in your life, they will do their best to remain in your life. Don't waste time, trying to make someone a part of your life, if they ain't putting effort into the relationship. It's time consuming and emotionally draining.

Give her some space, maybe she might come back, and if not, let her go. It hurts to lose a best friend, especially because you once shared a lot of great memories. But over time the pain disappears.