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big_guy36 · Jun 1, 2009, 02:26 AM

I have a big problem with jealousy. I am in iraq and my wife is in germany still. She works at the gym and there are a lot of guys that come in and flirt with her. But there is a couple of them that she says are her friends and they went and hung out at a bar. There were a few of her girl friends there that are also married. But when I herd this I got mad. I was upset and flipped out. But only because I don't know these guys. There single soldiers and I know how single soldiers are. I was one and I know a lot of them. There all the same. Only one thing on there mind. But I trust my wife. The only thing is he is what I want to be. Tall in shape and well, a prep boy. I am always scared that she is going to leave me. I don't just do it with guys that I don't know but even the ones I do know. Ones that she has known for most of her life. I don't know what to do. She said she can't go on like this anymore. She talks to me but she seems distant. I don't want to lose my wife. I love her with all my heart and I tell her that everyday. But it doesn't seem like its enough. I know I am a jealous person but I wasn't always this way. I just want to know how I can help myself. And make my marriage better and make my wife happy.

Romefalls19 · Jun 1, 2009, 05:25 AM

Relationships in the Army are tough, well beyond tough. If you trust your wife, then that should be enough to know she won't let anything happen. You have to understand, she is wearing your ring on her finger. She said "I Do" to you, not them or anyone else. My cousin did the relationship in the Army thing too, he just recently returned from Iraq last week and he struggled with this, but he said he knew his wife would stay true, because that's her character. If you honestly think something would happen, you are thinking less of your wife's character and that's her main issue.

I wish · Jun 1, 2009, 06:53 AM

You both made a commitment when you said your vows. I'm sure it's just as tough on her as it is on you. But the difference is, she goes out with friends and you might not have the same luxury.

Basically the two of you are just passing the time until you guys see each other again.

I just hope that you end your rotation soon. The only thing you can do is focus on your job and be patient. Tell her how much you miss her and that you wish you can talk to her more.

On a side note, it's possible that she's distant from you because she misses you a lot and doesn't know how to confront you.

talaniman · Jun 3, 2009, 09:07 AM

You sir, must learn how to better deal with your own jealousies, and INSECURITIES, and not make them your wife's problems, by not acting impulsively, or irrationally.

That means THINK before you speak, or act, no matter how you feel.

If you need additional help, be man enough to get it!

Syzygy · Jun 3, 2009, 11:12 AM

i am always scared that she is going to leave me.

Red flag. To be completely honest, I am like this in my relationships too. And that's why they never work out. You need to first love yourself before you love others. If you're always scared she's going to leave you, you will never be at peace or at ease in your marriage, which is an essential component to a happy and successful marriage.