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Infamouz · May 31, 2009, 08:35 PM

So I'll try to make it as short as possible. I started working at a new job and met this girl at this new job. She was in a relationship with some guy since she was 17 and it went on for 4 years. I was in a relationship as well when I met this girl. We started getting close because we had similar schedules. She started telling me about her partner and all the problems she went through with him and how she was fed up with him. It got to the point that we started hanging out after work and she ended the relationship she had with this guy (he is 9 yrs older than her). One thing led to another and she started confessing how she had a lil' thing for me ever since the first time she saw me. Until one day I told her how I felt for her and she said that it couldn't happen with all the problems she was going through at the time. We stopped talking for a bit (Mind you I still saw her at work) and then she initiated contact once again until we officially got together. This was about 1 - 2 months after she ended with her previos partner and moved out of apartment she shared with him and went to her mothers upstairs. Over the month and half we were together, we saw each other EVERYDAY after work, we did everything together, (BIG MISTAKE! I know :( ) We then celebrated our first month together and that's where thing got intimate for the first time, she always told me how I was perfect and how she actually saw a future with me so soon, something she never felt before (even with the previous 4 yr guy), She would say that she actually felt love for me and she would want to stay whole nights by my side, how if it weren't for me , she don't know what would be of her. We would always be in contact. Turns out the guy is still in her old apartment and he won't leave until he gathers up enough money to leave. I started seeing her stressed out and uneasy some days after our 1st month togther. It got to the point one day she text me that she feels she needs some time alone, and that we rushed things to quick, I TOTALLY agree. She also said how she thinks she needed to have fun for a bit and not be tied down or give explanations to anyone about her going out. She said she knew it bothered me when she went out and she didn't like that feeling. I did nag her for a couple of days after that I won't lie, and she would only return my questions with attitude and her being really pissed. So I left her alone and only saw her at work and treated her like a friend that she is. Like a week and half later she texted me saying how she appreciated how I was treating her and me respecting her decision, because she didn't want me to be hurt. I told her it was OK that to not worry about me because she has to take care of herslef first. She told me that she wasn't a cold hearted that she did have a heart and cared for me a lot. 2 weeks after that she wanted to see me one night and we ended up staying together that night whill she hugged me and SHE gave me a kiss (NOT ME!). She treated me like if we were back together. So that week we kind of saw each other a bit more and everything was getting better it seemed. She was going out to club with her friends while I did my own thing with mine, no questions asked. She hugged me in front of her friends and kissed me as well. Like she didn't care if they saw. We even went out again to the movies and she hugged and kissed me all night. Now thing are getting worse again. She would try to avoid seeing me as much and would leave right after work and just say bye. She would later text me in the day to see where I was at and doing. So one night she was dropping me off from work and I went to see bye with a kiss and she would give me a regular kiss on the lips. I hugged her for a bit and she asked what was happening, I told her how we don't see each other as much and she said if anything we were still seeing each other too much. (HUH?) I then asked her if she felt anything for me , and she answered that she didn't want to talk about it. That it wasn't the time to talk about it. So now I ask everyone on here, What is going on with this girl because I have grown to like her a lot and would like a long relationship with her. And I still have to see her at work everyday! :confused:.. any advice as to how to handle this situation? I'm really confused..

Infamouz · Jun 1, 2009, 06:45 AM

Anyone? This situation is really getting to me...

Romefalls19 · Jun 1, 2009, 07:00 AM

She just got out of a relationship, it's called a rebound. It's what she has turned this into. She doesn't want the emotional attachment so she keeps you far enough from her heart so she won't get hurt.

Infamouz · Jun 1, 2009, 09:24 PM

So why does she keep me around sometimes, and asks me question about what I'm doing like if she should still know about my whereabouts? Any more input?

thejokerparty · Jun 1, 2009, 09:53 PM

Just give it time. She needs to sort things out in her head. You can bet she has/had her ex telling her stuff and confusing her and keeping her at bay. If you keep it cool and just try to spend time with her, she'll give you a chance. The best thing to do is to be very attentive to the vibes she's putting out and act accordingly. Good Luck!

Infamouz · Jun 1, 2009, 10:34 PM

Well her ex is still in her old apartment and she is trying her best to get him out, while she stays upstairs with in her oms place, and I do know he has been nagging her, to the point she says she can't believe what a mistake she did with him, I am giving her space but do you think me giving her TOO MUCH space will ultimately work against me?

thejokerparty · Jun 1, 2009, 10:52 PM

Originally Posted by Infamouz

Well her ex is still in her old apartment and she is trying her best to get him out, while she stays upstairs with in her oms place, and I do know he has been nagging her, to the point she says she can't believe what a mistake she did with him, I am giving her space but do you think me giving her TOO MUCH space will ultimately work against me?

Yeah it may. Try to set up casual meetings (work, coffee, movie... ) with her and just enjoy her time for now. Make it fun for her to be around you (no pressures). She may be overwhelmed a bit too, with her ex still around and now with you. For a 17 year old her head is probably spinning.

Infamouz · Jun 2, 2009, 12:58 PM

Noo she was 17 when she started with her ex, now she is 21.. Lately at work she has been playing with me like if she don't care, but when my other co-worker (which she doesn't like) was working with me on the computer she came by the job and immediately went to us to see what we were doing (LOL) to the point my co-worker left to her space and my ex stayed there asking me what was I doing on the computer.. What the hell is going on in her head.

thejokerparty · Jun 2, 2009, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by Infamouz

Noo she was 17 when she started with her ex, now she is 21.. Lately at work she has been playing with me like if she don't care, but when my other co-worker (which she doesn't like) was working with me on the computer she came by the job and immediately went to us to see what we were doing (LOL) to the point my co-worker left to her space and my ex stayed there asking me what was I doing on the computer.. What the hell is going on in her head.?

Geez this is crazy! But the train is running I'd just stay aboard and see where it takes you and try not to let the situation as a whole get to you. Girls will be girls after all.

talaniman · Jun 2, 2009, 11:37 PM

Why on earth would you give your mind, body, and soul, to a female who jumped from one unresolved failed relationship right into your arms?

That's crazy, as everyone knows it takes a long time to recover from a 4 year relationship, to be ready for something serious with someone else!

Don't blame her because whether its ignorance, or inexperience, you allowed it to happen, and now your looking for answers to this confusion.

Leave her alone to deal with her own issues without you because when she does heal, and is ready for a real relationship again, it wont be with you.

Hey look, you aren't the first guy to fall under the charms of a female, and get used as an emotional tampon, (rebound; way to get over the ex) and won't be the last.

Man up, and keep your dignity and self respect, and leave her, and her jealous, needy a$$, alone. Don't be a fool. Don't be used any more.