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voyager182 · May 31, 2009, 11:22 AM

Well, I'm really confused about my feelings towards my best friend who I love unconditionally with all my heart. Me and her are really close, and I love her but I don't know if I love her romantically or just as a best friend.
One reason why it might not be romantic love is because I can't really see myself getting intimate with her, not saying I don't want to just that I feel weird because we are so close and I don't think she feels the same. I want to love her as more then just a friend, but I'm really confused on if it's there or not.
I want to talk to her about my feelings, but she currently has a boyfriend, and I'm just waiting for the right time to tell her.

I really want to love her as more then a friend, but I don't want to hurt our friendship and I don't know if she feels the same, any way to see if she feels the same? And am I really in love or just loving her as my best friend?

xbox360 · May 31, 2009, 11:59 AM

You should tell her how you feel but if she doesn't feel the same it may affect your friendship, I would tell her if I was you because lifes too short

voyager182 · May 31, 2009, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by xbox360

you should tell her how you feel but if she dosent feel the same it may affect your friendship, i would tell her if i was you because lifes too short

I totally agree, but I she has a boyfriend right now, and I don't think its fair to both of them to just put this on them. So I'm just like waiting if they work out, that is great,ill be happy for her and if they don't ill be there for her and tell her when she's not with someone.

JBeaucaire · May 31, 2009, 04:04 PM

According to your own analysis, there's nothing here to tell your best friend.

You don't know that she's attractive to you in that way, but you wish she were? That's not a feeling worth expressing, it's a nightmare waiting to happen.

Sometimes, we really mess up what we have in pursuit of that which we don't even have a clear description of yet... why mess up a perfectly wonderful friendship.

Seriously, why?

voyager182 · May 31, 2009, 09:28 PM

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

According to your own analysis, there's nothing here to tell your best friend.

You don't know that she's attractive to you in that way, but you wish she were? That's not a feeling worth expressing, it's a nightmare waiting to happen.

Sometimes, we really mess up what we have in pursuit of that which we don't even have a clear description of yet...why mess up a perfectly wonderful friendship.

Seriously, why?

Because, I'm confused, I know that about 3 years ago I used to like her, but now I really love her and I don't know if that love is just like infatuation, I love her as a friend, or something romantic.

I'm not saying I'm going to just go out and ruin our friendship, just confused on what my love for her really is I guess
I don't know

I wish · Jun 1, 2009, 07:17 AM

Two things:

1) She has a boyfriend so she's off limits. You were right, you have to wait for the right time to tell her how you feel.

2) If you feel so insecure about jepodizing a friendship, then you already have your answer. When you like someone a lot, you wouldn't have these sort of doubts.

Right off the bat, you already have two huge obstacles. Why don't you go out and meet new people? Someone who doesn't have a boyfriend and someone whom you won't worry about ruining a strong friendship with.

ayejay0601 · Jun 1, 2009, 08:11 AM

My girlfriend just broke up with me because she thought it was best friend love and not romantic love. We had a great sex life and we loved hanging out with each other. But she said that she just didn't feel a spark. She didn't feel like she needed to be with me all the time. IDK, it might be because I was all over her and clearly so in love with her.

Anyway, my advice is that all meaningful relatinoships must include best friend status. When the chemistry dies, nothing is left but that.

talaniman · Jun 1, 2009, 10:15 AM

Why bring your own confusion about your feelings into this friendship? If you don't know, say nothing until you do, and since she is involved with someone else, it's a safe bet she has NO romantic interests in you.

This is more about learning to cope with your own feelings, than anything else, and that's where your focus should be on, acknowledging, and identifying your own feelings, and what's the best thing to do about it.

We all go through that. Its how you learn to balance your thoughts, with the actions you take.