What should we do?

davana · May 31, 2009, 05:35 AM

Hi guys hope you will all help me here.

Im 26 of age and my boyfriend is 33 and we are living and working together.one of our female college age35 asked to stay with us until she find her own flat. And its been 5months now and she is not even looking for that flat.the problem is sometimes I work nightshift she is left with my boyfriend and she doesn't have a boyfriend of her own.. I want a polite manner to tell her to move out ,we want our own space and we fight now because of this and my boyfriend is also confused:confused:... Please help!

N0help4u · May 31, 2009, 06:05 AM

Can you spend some time helping her look for a place. If she doesn't even have money saved for another place you probably should just evict her.
I don't know what the procedure is for evicting where you live but check into it as an option.

DoulaLC · May 31, 2009, 06:19 AM

Let her know that you are happy you have been able to help her out for the last 5 months, but that you are sure by now she probably would like her own space, and that you and your boyfriend would really like more privacy. You'd be pleased to let her stay another month and help her start looking for a place.

davana · May 31, 2009, 06:38 AM

She did find 2places and rejects them for no reason..

davana · May 31, 2009, 06:42 AM

And she is earning more than us.

DoulaLC · May 31, 2009, 06:48 AM

Then that makes it even easier! Tell her you and your boyfriend really need your privacy back, you are happy you have been able to help her out, and that you will need her to find a place within a month.

If it eases any sense of displaced guilt that you might feel of asking her to move out, tell her you haven't said anything before because you didn't want her to think that you weren't happy to help her, but that the lack of privacy has started to put a strain on your relationship with your boyfriend and you are sure she understands how important it is to have it be just the two of you again.

hvacgal · May 31, 2009, 06:52 AM

I agree you are being way to kind. Tell her that it is time she moved out and that you both need your privacy back. She is taking advantage of your kindness 5 months and she is still homeless! Not cool. You need to put your foot down and tell her that she has x amount of weeks to find a flat of her own. And don't make it more than a month... time for the little bird to fly.

davana · May 31, 2009, 06:56 AM

I think so also because its too long now... and I don't know what is she doing when I'm at work at night..

DoulaLC · May 31, 2009, 07:00 AM

Originally Posted by davana

i think so also coz its too long now...and i dont know what is she doing when im at work at night..

Well if you are implying that you have concerns about her and your boyfriend, that is another issue. If you are worried about her being alone with him when you are at work, I'd be just as worried about what he is doing when you are at work. Either you trust him or you don't... but that's a whole other issue. Get the friend into her own place and at least you have the situation of where she lives sorted out.

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