[CLuvsSoccer]

I've been feeling this way for a long time now, and I know that I need to get some kind of help. I'm 14 and yes, I know I'm emotional and I know I'm supposed to see the world as unfair, but this is really extreme. I've been betrayed by friends and family many many many times and I've never been stood up for it seems. I'm certainly not a normal teenager, I know that much. I have good grades, I'm at the top of my class, I'm respectful I've been told, and teachers really like me but that's not enough for everyone else outside of teachers. Both of my parents work and they're both very stressed out because of it and when I even make the slightest mistake they both freak out and get angry. I no longer talk to extended family because of events that happened about a year ago that made me very angry and depressed. I worry about everything, like how I'm going to do in school next year, if I'll find friends, if the teachers will like me, what if I don't know the answer to a question and even things like if I'll die in a car wreck going to school. I also have chronic pain and when I finally got the nerve to tell my friends about it (long before I realized they were fake) they acted sorry at first and then moved on to another topic (like, oh my gosh, I'm sooo sorry! Let me know if I can help you with anything! Oh, by the way, did you hear that so and so goes with so and so now!) which makes me very depressed. It's hard for me to trust people now. I trust all of my teachers because I know they appreciate me. My mother, who is also a teacher, doesn't seem to like me as much as my teachers. It's not fair. How can people who have barely known me for a year like me better than my own parents? If you didn't want me, why didn't you put me up for adoption? I have thought about suicide, but that was WAY back. Even when I told a friend about how I used to be suicidal all she did was get mad at me. I've gotten a grip now that I don't talk to my 'friends' anymore and that I've found one very good friend with similar issues that I can talk to. Even though it's getting better, I don't know what to do! I'm so lost. What should I do about all of this? Thanks in advance for reading, I know how dull I can be when I rant! Thanks TONS to everyone who answers!

[Peachey]

Hi! Don't think like that, I once had that feeling, and trust me pray helps, look at the bright side you have life, we all will make mistakes in life, my god I had a lot of mistakes, I dropped out of school were a striper and when I see I were going into drugs I pulled a 380 with the help of god, I'm now back in school continuing my studies it's been hard but I try, look I am not a christian or anything but GOD is there when you need him, just be cool, soon you'll class this as an experience.

[N0help4u]

Your parents probably do appreciate you but do not show it.
Do the best you can and when they complain tell them you can only do so much and you are only human so you aren't perfect.
Some times people expect a certain amount from others and when they fall below what is expected they get criticized. It is normal and bosses do it quit a bit.
As old as I am people still say, '... anything I can do?' as well as the, 'How are you?' and then go on to another subject. It doesn't mean they are not friends. It means they are insensitive or superfical or priorities somewhere else, but don't count them out as friends for that.
Your worrying about 'what ifs' isn't doing you a bit of good either. You need to think what goals do you want to work toward, how are you going to go about that and anything after that take it as it comes. 'What ifs' only stress you and more often than not they do not happen or if they do its nothing like you wasted your time worrying about.

[h_leann_b]

I think you need to plan some sort of family dinner or meeting, TV off, no distractions. And tell them how you feel. Or even write a letter telling them how you feel. I fell into depression when I was about 15 as well. I did see a shrink, but it just wasn't for me. After I talked to my parents about it, things started to get better. I hope that you never think about suicide again. Because in a few years you will barely remember why you were sad. Teenage years can be hard. Lots of pressures. Stressed parents maybe taking things out on you.. And sadly, it is hard to find real friends these days. You said that you met someone like you, You guys should get out and have fun! I would def. approach your parents though. That's just my opinion.

[CLuvsSoccer]

Hi! don't think like that, i once had that feeling, and trust me pray helps, look at the bright side you have life, we all will make mistakes in life, my god i had a lot of mistakes, i dropped out of school were a striper and when i see i were going into drugs i pulled a 380 with the help of god, i'm now back in school continuing my studies it's been hard but i try, look i am not a christian or anything but GOD is there when you need him, just be cool, soon you'll class this as an experience.

Thanks tons for answering, your answer helped very well! I'm glad to hear you're doing better too!

[CLuvsSoccer]

I think you need to plan some sort of family dinner or meeting, tv off, no distractions. And tell them how you feel. Or even write a letter telling them how you feel. I fell into depression when I was about 15 as well. I did see a shrink, but it just wasn't for me. After I talked to my parents about it, things started to get better. I hope that you never think about suicide again. Because in a few years you will barely remember why you were sad. Teenage years can be hard. Lots of pressures. Stressed parents maybe taking things out on you.. And sadly, it is hard to find real friends these days. You said that you met someone like you, You guys should get out and have fun! I would def. approach your parents though. Thats just my opinion.

Thank you so much for answering! I'm NEVER going to think about suicide again, it scared me half to death as soon as I realized what I was doing. I'm going to be more picky of friends in the future and be more optimistic. :)

[CLuvsSoccer]

Your parents probably do appreciate you but do not show it.
Do the best you can and when they complain tell them you can only do so much and you are only human so you aren't perfect.
Some times people expect a certain amount from others and when they fall below what is expected they get criticized. It is normal and bosses do it quit a bit.
As old as I am people still say, '....anything I can do?' as well as the, 'How are you?' and then go on to another subject. It doesn't mean they are not friends. It means they are insensitive or superfical or priorities somewhere else, but don't count them out as friends for that.
Your worrying about 'what ifs' isn't doing you a bit of good either. You need to think what goals do you want to work toward, how are you going to go about that and anything after that take it as it comes. 'What ifs' only stress you and more often than not they do not happen or if they do its nothing like you wasted your time worrying about.

Thank you for answering! I think that I'm just very sensitive to what others say and that's why I have the anxiety and depression issues. I know my parents appreciate me, but I think it's because they don't ever really speak to me is the thing and when they do it's because they're angry. :( I'm going to get help from somebody somehow someway while I can.

[N0help4u]

Parents are like that. My dad never really talked to me about anything other than negative. Like I'd buy a jacket or a pair of shoes and he would say, 'How much did the store pay you to take THAT off their hands?'

[Alyeska]

You probably feel like you live for no reason and that no one apreciates you. Live for yourself! You're so young and you have a whole life ahead of you. In four years, you will be independent, and have more fun. For now, find a trusted adult to talk to, or write your feelings in a journal. Your friends may not help because they are too foolish.