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youngmom2 · May 28, 2009, 02:06 PM

Hi I am new here I need some advice. I have two kids they are 2 and 3 and there father is lazy. He doesn't want to watch or be bothered with them. Only time he really sees them is one there birthday. My daughter just turn two on the 25th and he spent only five minutes with her and then said he will be back and never returned. I need to know if I can get his rights taken away. I been trying not to go there but he is hurting my kids. My son knows when daddy comes by he won't stay and won't come back like he promises. My son stands at the window crying for his dad or when he goes out side he doesn't want to come in cause he think his dad will come from around the corner to get him. Un top of him not taking care of them he tells me I just a babysitter because I don't work but being a mom is a job. He also has an older son that he doesn't bother with and another baby that he cheated and had on me after I had my daughter which he probably does take care of a little cause he with the girl. I just need to know is there anything I can do because I don't receive child support because he doesn't work but everyone tells me to put him on child support. I just want to know is there anyway I can take his rights away because he is no use to my kids when he is drunk and high or out there making more kids and know telling who these females are he hangs with?

ANB428 · May 28, 2009, 02:26 PM

The only way that his rights can be taken away is in order to clear a way for an adoption or if the parent is a threat to the child.

You need to put him on child support. You need to go to court and file for custody and get him for child support. He needs to take care of his responsibilities.

I know that it is very frustrating dealing with deat beat dads. I don't know what I would do if my daughter's father came in and out of my daughter's life. Luckily he doesn't care enough about my daughter to even attempt to see her.

My daughter is 4 years old and has never seen her dad, he has never given me child support or done anything for my daughter. But, I can't change her last name or get his rights revoked because of the law. It isn't fair, but it is out there to protect the father's who actually want to be a part of their child's life but the mother's want to prevent that, so I understand the reasoning for the laws. But, sometimes it just isn't fair.

If you read through some of the other posts on here about relinquishing rights or abandonment, you will find more answers to your question. This question is asked on this site daily. Good luck with everything.

Oh, and I am really sorry that your children have to go through this. It is really not fair to them and their father doesn't see what he is doing to his babies and that is really sad. I am sorry. I will keep you and your children in my prayers.

cdad · May 28, 2009, 02:29 PM

How do you have an income and provide for the children if you don't work ? If your on welfare then you wouldn't be receiving child support anyway. Those monies would go to the state. Have you been to court yet for custody or anything ?

youngmom2 · May 28, 2009, 02:30 PM

Thank u so much. Hopefully one day these dead beat dads will come around

cdad · May 28, 2009, 02:34 PM

If there is no support order in place then he isn't being a Dead Beat Dad. Im not saying its right what he is doing but that term is thrown around so much it has lost its true meaning.

youngmom2 · May 28, 2009, 02:34 PM

To califdadof3: Yeah I don't work but I still leave at home with my mom she helps a lot. I look for jobs everyday hopefully one will hire me. I don't receive w2 money at all. Only time I been to court is when did our paternity test to show him he was the father. Everyone keeps telling me to take him to court for child support but I don't want anything to do with him.

cdad · May 28, 2009, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by youngmom2

to califdadof3: Yeah i dont work but i still leave at home with my mom she helps alot. I look for jobs everyday hopefully one will hire me. I dont receive w2 money at all. Only time i been to court is when did our paternity test to show him he was the father. Everyone keeps telling me to take him to court for child support but i dont want anything to do with him.

You need to get into court and get these matters settled. Get the custody and support issues settled through the courts. You had children with this man so unless he is a clear and present danger to the children your stuck with him.. possibly for a lifetime because when the children are grown they may include him in functions and you will be expected to attend also. So do right by them and get back into court.

JudyKayTee · May 28, 2009, 02:40 PM

It's not whether you want anything to do with him or not - at one time you apparently DID want "something" to do with him.

It's about the standard of living of your children. They deserve to be supported by both parents and that includes their father - not be their Grandmother.

Your friends are right - take him to Court for child support.

And, as CalifDad said - he's not a deadbeat Dad because he doesn't pay if he hasn't been asked any more than you are a deadbeat Mom for not getting him ordered to pay.