[chuff]

I was just watching Joel Olsteen who is a preacher from Texas. His sermons are usually not to preachy which make them much more enjoyable then your usual "send me your money we are in the last days" type of preacher. He's more motivational then religious and you don't have to be religious to even get or accept the message of the show. I'll try not to use the word God for those of you that practice atheism but it's going to pop up.

Anyway his topic tonight was relationships and although he wasn't specifically talking about romantic relationships everything he said was applicable to what we talk a lot about here. I thought I'd recap because he was so accurate in what he said and it might be able to help some of you trying to recover from a relationship or at least put some perspective on people in your life or people no longer in your life.

1. Your destiny is not tied to another person. Your destiny belongs to you and you alone. If someone leaves you life you have to let them go so you can make room for the next person to come in who will be able to bring you something different and something new. For you life to grow, at times you will have to stretch beyond your comfort zone and accept that you do not want to see people go, it is a necessary part of life so you can grow into the person you were meant to be and bring new people who will be better for you in the future.

2. Some people let others control them to make the other person happy. But giving up self control does not equate to another person's happiness but rather your own unhappiness. Giving up your control will never never make anyone else happy. If you have given up yourself control in the past and been taken advantage of because of it, you were blessed when the person left you life because it gave you an opportunity to regain control. In such a situation you have not lost anyone and you have gained a part of yourself.

3. True friends/family are not with me. True friends/family are for me. With me are people who are with you until they have taken all they can from you and then they move on. For me believes in the best of me. For me helps me but does not control me. For me knows that I can do for myself and do not need them.

4. Let them leave with your blessing so you can accept your new blessings. You could probably change that to be let them leave so you can accept new people and relationships. But instead of fighting it or trying to win them back, accept that they are moving on (or as Olsteen said, God moved them out) so someone new will come along and replace them who is better for you. Give them your best and know that someone better is coming into your life, but you must accept that before it can happen.

5. Don't fight change. Change is neccassary for personal growth. The longer you fight change the longer you will wait for change to take place.

6. The right people will come into your life but it's up to you to let the wrong ones go. The people you want in your life(hopefully positive, well adjusted, etc) will not come into your life if you are surrounded by the opposite kinds of people.

7. People want you to stay in limitation so they can stay in your life. Some people will attempt to keep you down, tell you that you can't do things, tell you are aren't good enough to keep you down so they can stay in your life. They are self depricating people with fear on the inside and can't let others succeed ahead of them. Those types of negative thinkers do not want your success because if you can succeed with out them, you don't need them. They stay in your life through limitation. If these people leave your life, let them go and take their limitations with them. With them out of your life, their limitations are no longer your limitiations and your growth can continue.

8. Piggy backed on the last point, You don't need people who are enabling a limitation. Nobody has limitations. We have all been led to believe we do through environment and conditioning. If somebody is surpressing your growth even if they are unaware they are doing it, they are enabling you limitations.

9. Quit depending on someone else to do what you were meant to do on your own. You were given everything you need to deal with the world around. You have all the capabilities you need to do anything or overcome anything. God does not create an imperfect human but he does create a challenge and a reason for growth. Accept that you have what you need to overcome the loss and accept the loss is really a gain for something better you haven't come into yet.

In a nutshell, not only did I agree with everything he said, it actually made perfect sense when I look back on my life. There have been times people have left my life and it was difficult. But as I look back when the emotions die off, I can see that it was necessary for me to move forward. If certain things had not happened or certain people had never left my life, then better things could not have happened and new people would never have entered my life when it was right for me and them. I think if your reasonable with yourself you'll be able to say the same about your own life and the stages you've gone through. Dealing with someone leaving is tough, but in the long run they may have left to create an opening for something better. It's up to you to accept that better is coming so get ready for it.

[friend4u178]

Great post Chuff , very interesting!

[artlady]

Excellent post and I relate completely!
I think it should be a sticky.
Powerful stuff!

[ajGambino]

This is good to hear. Thank you Chuff, I really needed that.

[liz28]

I love Joel and he say some powerful stuff. I actually saw this show you quoted him on and love it.

[jman123h]

Nice work chuff. You never seem to fail to come through with something good