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manchini · May 22, 2009, 08:57 PM

OK, so I work with this girl who I like but pretty good friends with. She's going through a lot of problems that involve him and she might be pregnant which is freaking her out. I'm not letting any of my feelings get in the way of anything anymore I'm only there to help her out with whatever I can do. And now that her boyfriend went home on leave for 2 weeks (which she didn't find out till like a week ago) he told her that she isn't allowed to hang out with me in a one-on-one time. This is getting to be really bull and I'm only trying to help her out with these problems and that is that, she doesn't really know what to think of this whole mess and I need some help period. All I want to do is just be her friend and hang with her when I can and he's making that really impossible. Someone please help I need it a lot.

talaniman · May 23, 2009, 07:51 AM

Mind your own business! You have a great heart, but unless your invited, butt out!

Netucator007 · May 24, 2009, 11:26 AM

Your intentions, although they are meant to be good ones, could be sending the wrong message to this person's boyfriend. If you were her boyfriend (and I know you mentioned you are trying to be a friend, which is fine) how would you feel if another guy was trying to be friendly?

A lot of us may be fine with it,. if we know that friend well. However, this girl that you mentioned has a boyfriend who doesn't know you from any other apple on a tree. I agree with her boyfriend. Here's an example: I'm married and my husband knows all of my friends and I know all of his. If there are instances where we meet new friends who happen to be a different gender, then we meet them and hang out for a while. It sounds like you're a really good person... it may be better to back off for a bit. Just for a while.

I wish · May 24, 2009, 02:12 PM

You can't force a friendship. Both people have to want the friendship for it to work.

If she doesn't want to hang out with you, then leave her alone. Be a true friend and respect her wishes.

We understand that you have a kind heart and you just want to help. But she has to want the help. You can't force it on her.

Let her know that you will be there for her if she needs it, but if she doesn't, then let her be. Respect her space.

N0help4u · May 24, 2009, 04:52 PM

Sounds like she is letting her boyfriend control her but as the others have said there is nothing you can do or say. Let her come to you with her problems or leave her alone. Your interfering could make things worse on her as long as she is wanting to stay with him.

manchini · May 29, 2009, 10:11 AM

OK I have been taking all your advice and it's working great actually I told her I would be here for her whenever she needs and I'm not going to force a friendship she has total control over what she wants to do and all that. She is "beating" it into his head that he needs to stop controlling her and she's going to hang out with her friend(me) when she feels like it. So it's kind of starting to get better we've hung out like 3-4 times and he's not getting to upset about it so thanks guys!

N0help4u · May 29, 2009, 10:18 AM

Yeah sometimes a girl has to stand up for themselves or the guy will just keep seeing how far he can push her.
But your friend needs to be careful that he isn't biting his tongue to eventually snap out on her cause that can happen too.
She needs to communicate with him to where he knows that it is a better method than him controlling her with his demands.

manchini · May 30, 2009, 03:16 PM

Exactly

N0help4u · May 30, 2009, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by bassplaya28

Who gives a crap wut this guy thinks!?!?!? If u 2 want to hang out thne go ahead nuthings stopping u and has no control over ur personal lives. Whos hes to say who u can't be friends with?:mad:

Yeah but I doubt she wants to be the reason her friends boyfriend beats her up.