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sista · May 22, 2009, 11:07 AM

Can I file child abandonment charges as the birth mom ? The child has lived with me since he was 4 months old he is now 7. my boyfriend or his father are the possible fathers.

stevetcg · May 22, 2009, 11:20 AM

Abandonment is not something you file. It's the grounds for something else.

What is it that you are looking for? Child support? You can file for that.

Please let us know what it is that you are seeking...

Justwantfair · May 22, 2009, 11:27 AM

You are unsure of your child's father, then who would you think abandoned him as if you are unsure, how are they to be sure?

Were you sleeping with your boyfriend and your boyfriend's father at the time of conception?

ScottGem · May 22, 2009, 05:30 PM

This issue has been discussed several times in this forum. Abandonment is an oft misunderstood concept.

Child abandonment is, in most cases, a criminal offense where the child is left without any adult supervision. Clearly not the case here.

Abandonment may be used as grounds to achieve something else. So you really need to define what it is you want.

But before you can proceed you need to establish who the legal father is.

sista · May 22, 2009, 05:48 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Abandonment is not something you file. Its the grounds for something else.

What is it that you are looking for? Child support? You can file for that.

Please let us know what it is that you are seeking...

No I don't want the money. I just want to keep my son with me. He is not my biological son. My boyfriend or his dad is the father. We tried to have my son tested but the birth mom would not take him in to get tested.

sista · May 22, 2009, 05:53 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

You are unsure of your child's father, then who would you think abandoned him as if you are unsure, how are they to be sure?

Were you sleeping with your boyfriend and your boyfriend's father at the time of conception?

Im not the birth mom. My boyfriend or his dad got the birth mom pregnant. They both slept with her within 4 hours. The kid has been in my custody and his dads since he was 4 months old.

sista · May 22, 2009, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

This issue has been discussed several times in this forum. Abandonment is an oft misunderstood concept.

Child abandonment is, in most cases, a criminal offense where the child is left without any adult supervision. Clearly not the case here.

Abandonment may be used as grounds to acheive something else. So you really need to define what it is you want.

But before you can proceed you need to establish who the legal father is.

I just want to keep my son with me. I don't want the money, I just want custody. The birth mom left one state because she has a arrest warrant for hot checks,then moved to another where were she is now in trouble for fraud. She has been collecting a disability check for my son and the state figured out that my son wasn't living there with her. In his entire life he has never spent more than 60 days with her.

sista · May 22, 2009, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

This issue has been discussed several times in this forum. Abandonment is an oft misunderstood concept.

Child abandonment is, in most cases, a criminal offense where the child is left without any adult supervision. Clearly not the case here.

Abandonment may be used as grounds to acheive something else. So you really need to define what it is you want.

But before you can proceed you need to establish who the legal father is.

How can I go about establishing paternity if the father is in prison. He is standing behind me all the way. I just don't know which way to go. I'm so scared I'm going to loose my son.

ScottGem · May 23, 2009, 05:30 AM

Originally Posted by sista

Im not the birth mom. my boyfriend or his dad got the birth mom pregnant. They both slept with her within 4 hours. the kid has been in my custody and his dads since he was 4 months old.

And you didn't think that was an important fact to mention?

The first issue here is legal parentage. If your boyfriend got custody then its likely he is named as the legal parent. But if you are not married to him, you have no legal standing. This also means that you can't authorize medical care or register him for school.

You really need an attorney to unravel this mess. You need to at least have a court order you as guardian for the child so you can make legal decisions for him. From there, you probably need to adopt him to get the birth mother out of the picture. As it stands now (unless her rights were terminated), she can just walk in and take the child.

sista · May 24, 2009, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

And you didn't think that was an important fact to mention?

The first issue here is legal parentage. If your boyfriend got custody then its likely he is named as the legal parent. But if you are not married to him, you have no legal standing. This also means that you can't authorize medical care or register him for school.

You really need an attorney to unravel this mess. You need to at least have a court order you as guardian for the child so you can make legal decisions for him. From there, you probably need to adopt him to get the birth mother out of the picture. As it stands now (unless her rights were terminated), she can just walk in and take the child.

I already have him in school and do all the doctors visits. I have him in classes so that his speech can be straightened out before he hots junior high. I'm having him tested for AHDD. I've been the only one who has done anything for him besides his dad.

Yes I think it's important to mention that I wasn't the birth mom. I'm so frustrated these days that I forget some things. It was not intentional. I'm sorry.

ScottGem · May 24, 2009, 04:00 PM

To be able to authorize these things you have to be legally responsible for him. Its possible this may have fallen through the cracks because the father was there to sign initially.

But you really need to try to get legal guardianship

sista · May 27, 2009, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

To be able to authorize these things you have to be legally responsible for him. Its possible this may have fallen thru the cracks because the father was there to sign initially.

But you really need to try to get legal guardianship

Thanks for all your input on this matter. I do appreciate it. No one is listed on the birth certificate as the father.All we know is the potential fathers are my boyfriend or his dad .

Fr_Chuck · May 27, 2009, 09:32 AM

So in the long run you can not do anything till you prove who the father is, time for court, paternity tests, child support orders.

sista · May 27, 2009, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

So in the long run you can not do anything till you prove who the father is, time for court, paternity tests, child support orders.

My boyfriend is in prison and his dad is in Kansas and doesn't want to be found. I really,really scared I'm going to lose my son. The worst part is that it seems like I can't do anything about it.

Justwantfair · May 27, 2009, 09:37 AM

Is she out searching for the child?

Have you contacted her?

YeloDasy · May 27, 2009, 10:06 AM

Have you thought about the CPS route? If you call CPS in your state and inform them that the bio mom has abandoned this child and you are willing to be the legal guardian, maybe that will get some wheels spinning. The only problem is they wuill try to contact the mom and give her a chance to have the child and work towards it. The only other option would be to go through court and have a hearing, which she will be invited to go, or phone conference, and the judge will determine the best fit for right now, set a plan, and go from there. At some point, the legality will come into play. Right now, you can sign him up for some things, but legally you can not see a Psychiatrist wtihout legal papers. I work with one and he requires documentation from a court.
I would start calling anonymously, such as CPS, courthouse, and maybe pay $50 for a lawyer consultation. It might be worth the money for some suggestions.

sista · May 28, 2009, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by YeloDasy

Have you thought about the CPS route? If you call CPS in your state and inform them that the bio mom has abandoned this child and you are willing to be the legal guardian, maybe that will get some wheels spinning. The only problem is they wuill try to contact the mom and give her a chance to have the child and work towards it. The only other option would be to go through court and have a hearing, which she will be invited to go, or phone conference, andt he judge will determine the best fit for right now, set a plan, and go from there. At some point, the legality will come into play. Right now, you can sign him up for some things, but legally you can not see a Psychiatrist wtihout legal papers. I work with one and he requires documentation from a court.
I would start calling anonymously, such as CPS, courthouse, and maybe pay $50 for a lawyer consultation. It might be worth the money for some suggestions.

Thank you so very much. This is the first time I have had a little bit of hope

JudyKayTee · May 28, 2009, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by YeloDasy

Have you thought about the CPS route? If you call CPS in your state and inform them that the bio mom has abandoned this child and you are willing to be the legal guardian, maybe that will get some wheels spinning. The only problem is they wuill try to contact the mom and give her a chance to have the child and work towards it. The only other option would be to go through court and have a hearing, which she will be invited to go, or phone conference, andt he judge will determine the best fit for right now, set a plan, and go from there. At some point, the legality will come into play. Right now, you can sign him up for some things, but legally you can not see a Psychiatrist wtihout legal papers. I work with one and he requires documentation from a court.
I would start calling anonymously, such as CPS, courthouse, and maybe pay $50 for a lawyer consultation. It might be worth the money for some suggestions.

I find this to be questionable legal advice - this is not the birth mother. The birth father is maybe unknown, maybe missing. A call to CPS is going to reveal that the OP does NOT have guardianship of this child. You never know what CPS is going to think or do.

I think the OP could very well have this child removed from her home if CPS gets involved.

I don't know how OP is going to report the child abandoned when apparently the mother or the father or somebody left the child with her. That's not abandonment unless the child is not cared for.

I see CPS making a bad situation worse.

OP needs an Attorney to unravel this and protect both herself and the child.

sista · May 28, 2009, 05:13 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Is she out searching for the child?

Have you contacted her?

She has called and said she wanted to take him to Louisiana for a month, then to California where she lives now. She has a warrant for hot checks inlouisiana, and is under investigation in californa for fraud. She has been collecting disability checks for the child in question even though he has never lived there.

JudyKayTee · May 28, 2009, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by sista

she has called and said she wanted to take him to louisiana for a month, then to california where she lives now. she has a warrant for hot checks inlouisiana, and is under investigation in californa for fraud. she has been collecting disability checks for the child in question even though he has never lived there.

I hope you know you have to go to Court and try to get guardianship. At this point I see nothing you can prove that makes her a danger to the child, and that's what counts.

You MUST retain an Attorney.