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    AugustRush's Avatar
    AugustRush Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 19, 2009, 01:25 PM
    My boyfriend of 6 years needs "space"
    After dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years we recently had been having issues and he decided he needed a break. He told me he loved me and would be back but just couldn’t deal with the stress of our relationship, two jobs, and his rather tumultuous family life.

    For the last two months he has been hot and cold. There were times where he said he wanted to get back together and even stated it would only be a few more days, and then times when he would say he isn’t sure. I tried to see if I could help by offering any information but he shoots me down and is upset that I'm pushing.

    We have been friends for over 10 years and do see each other at least once a week, usually with a warm embrace and a smile, but sometimes he is downright cold. Neither of us had dated since the split unless we've been out with each other.

    I love this man with all my heart and I do not want to just walk away, but I can’t figure out what to do. My heart says to hold on and try to win him back, but my head says two months is long enough and walk away. What should I do? Is there an appropriate time to wait before demanding a decision and walking away?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    May 19, 2009, 01:32 PM

    Back off, don't push, don't call,
    You know the saying ''absence makes the heart grow fonder''. If he really cares then time and space will get him coming back to you.
    As long as he knows you are pushing to get back it makes it too easy for him to procrastinate. If he isn't sure where you stand because you sort of give up it may make him think twice.

    If it proves the other saying ''Out of sight, out of mind" then you are better off without him and aren't wasting your time pursuing something that isn't going to go any where any way.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #3

    May 19, 2009, 02:43 PM

    If you've been together for 6 years, then I think that you have a strong enough bond to give him some space to figure things out.

    There's not much you can say or do that you haven't said or done in the past 6 years.

    Just be patient. Give him the time and space to figure it out and then he will come find you.

    Don't put any timeline, because that will just put pressure on both of you and may make things even worse.

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