[SeanMPollard]

I've been to psychologists and psychiatrists my general diagnosis is that I have severe depression, anxiety, and possible schizophrenia. For the past 5 years or so I have been supporting my mentally unstable wife. And for the past year I've been doing my best to handle her and my daughter. I don't know how long I can do this. I lost my job not too long ago, we're literally living off welfare and handouts. And sure maybe I could do more to get a Job, but I couldn't really do it without neglecting my family. Because all my time is taken up by either helping my wife with her issues or raising my daughter, I can't really find the time to take care of my own mental health problems that keep getting worse. I love my wife and my daughter, but that doesn't mean I was ready for it. I know I should have waited on becoming a father, I should have taken the time to get me and my wife straight before bringing someone else into it. But none of that can be undone. People have told me I need to leave my wife, but I absolutely will not. How can I relieve some of this stress? I've tried everything. Tried meditation, it works but it gets a little difficult to maintain when there is a screaming child in the other room. I've been on medication, all it did was turn me into either a zombie or someone I didn't like. I've tried recreational drugs, like hemp, but in today's economy even that is hard to find a good price, and for someone who is actively seeking work its not a practical treatment. I live in California and I am trying to get a medical marijuana card, as it is the only medication that has shown me results I approve of. But with my insurance it takes so long. Anything would help, supportive words, tips, anything, please. I'm at my wits end, I can't even keep myself from crying as I write this. Please help me.

[YeloDasy]

Can you describe your depression and anxiety? And why possible schizophrenia?
I know its hard, and it is really hard to take care of others when you feel a struggle to take care of yourself. You do need to become stable, and keep looking for meds that heo you. What have you tried? What is your wife's mental illness?
Sounds like things are rough, but there are answers and you need to take the time to find them. Its like you can't build a house on poor foundation, so taking the time to become stable will allow you to help your wife and raise your daughter.
What kind of work do you do?