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amartin82 · May 18, 2009, 06:38 AM

I'm going through a custody battle with my ex husband for my 3 year old son. My son has been in my custody since my divorce, with regular visitation with his father, and more recently my ex decided to try and get custody simply because I would not agree to a 6 month rotation with no child support just because he's moving to the other side of the country. I am married and I did meet my husband online. I don't drink, smoke or party and neither does my husband. We're video game nerds and we never do anything except work and stay home. We always do things as a family with my son whether it be outside or inside. My ex has never paid me more than 100 dollars in child support at a time. I don't understand what he thinks he has on me other than the fact that I met my husband online. I knew him for several months (4) before I met him and only after I spent time with him did I know it was right. I have an attorney who says there's nothing to worry about but for some reason my husband seems to be the one getting asked all the questions when it really has nothing to do with him. My son's lawyer has made me feel uneasy about the situation because of the "non traditional" way I met my husband. I think its ridiculous and that I don't have anything to worry about but I wanted to know what it is that makes a mother unfit, in the law's eyes (VA), to raise her child?

Jake2008 · May 18, 2009, 07:19 AM

So you ex husband wants to rip him from his mother, take him across the country for six months, ship him back for six months, and keep repeating this, while not wanting to pay support while he has him. Which, incidentally, he's never paid up to this point anyway.

How absolutely ridiculous!!

In order for him to take him six months at a stretch, both parties would have to agree to this. I cannot see any way that this benefits the 3 year old whatsoever. A judge would have to have rocks in his head to change the custody arrangement to benefit the father.

This child is not a ping-pong ball.

That you are unfit is also ridiculous. You met your husband online? Wow. I met mine in a bar on wing night with 1/2 price beer.

Go with what your lawyer says, you have nothing to worry about.

stevetcg · May 18, 2009, 09:09 AM

It takes some SERIOUS effort to have someone found unfit.

Are you selling crack while simultaneously beating up a 4 year old? No? Then you won't be found unfit.

He is wasting his time if he takes this to court and is most likely threatening it to get you to submit without a fight. Tell him to screw and take it up with the judge.

stevetcg · May 18, 2009, 09:11 AM

Incidentally - I met my fiancée online 5 years ago. Our kids don't think it was unusual nor does anyone else.

Heck, most of the time I forget that is how we met.

Also don't forget - his lawyer gets paid by the hour... which is why he is going after any possible thread he can find to pull at.

missk · May 18, 2009, 10:20 AM

I really don't think you have anything to worry about. With your situation, they are going to see what is best for your son, and more than likely it's to be with you. And did you mean to say "my ex's lawyer"? Or "my son's lawyer".

MsMewiththat · May 18, 2009, 12:37 PM

You shouldn't worry about the unfit part. They will try anything they can to get out of child support. One thing that may be taken into consideration is whether the father ever has spent time in the home with the child. Meaning custody can be granted on a more extended period for a father that has lived in the home with the child vs. a father that has never lived in the home with a child. That doesn't mean that six months here six months there is the answer. Some people do every other week, but if his goal is to evade child support the judge will most likely smell a rat! Best of wishes... no worries.

amartin82 · May 18, 2009, 07:49 PM

Originally Posted by missk

I really don't think you have anything to worry about. With your situation, they are going to see what is best for your son, and more than likely it's to be with you. And did you mean to say "my ex's lawyer"? Or "my son's lawyer".

Its my son's lawyer.. the guardian ad litem for the state of VA who represents my son's best interests in this case

amartin82 · May 18, 2009, 07:50 PM

Sorry about that didn't mean to quote anyone I am still new to this... I mean I definitely agree with all of you thanks so much!