[stillhoping4justice]

I am in the state of Virginia. In 2003 a child support order was established with spousal support and in 2004 CSE became involved because my ex was not paying appropiately and was in arears of $6,000 +. They garnished and put a lien on his property. He has gotten current in the last two months with Child support but is still over a $1,000 behind in spousal but making payments on it. He works and has throughout our marriage making cash on the side. He admitted this in court when the order was established. But, then lied that not anymore. So nothing happened in regards to adding that money. He is cheating his children while he has a high mortgage on a house he was court oredered to sell but did not. He spends money on other things no the children. Any way, I did remarry so he is no longer paying monthly spousal support. But, now comes the confusing and frustrating part for me. My daughter is 16 and in a state run detention group home. The child support order is not broken down to per child. I have been turning over what I thought was her half of the child support. But CSE said I had a unitary child support order and that I was not to turn over support because unitary meant no matter how many children it still comes to me and is applied to which ever child is still in the home. The local person that is setting up the petitions for the facility to determine support says that it does not matter how the order was set up and that a new one needs to be established on both of us. Custody on my daughter was turned over to the Detention Center. I signed an agreement to turn over her half of the support because this is how I believed it was to be done, but after CSE said no and that anything I turned over should be credited as coming from me. But, now there is a petition and I have been summoned to court.What I have been turning over gets credited to him, I love doing the leg work for him and somehow making it look good for him, while I get bit in the backside.I have no problem with turning it over but when told no I do not have to pay then I question this. His father knows one of the workers there. I was told not to send anything in for myself as payment. I went on the CSE website to figure just what I should be paying if I was to pay. I have sent her normal monthly payment and that figure from me as support payments. But according to state guidelines I am confused as to how they determine support from both non-custodial parents. I am buying her clothes, paying doctor bills not covered under Medicaid, giving her an allowance and any school fees that need to be taken care of. I want to pay my part and have stated that if I have to keep to the contract now that I had new info I will gladly do so. I want to pay not get away from it. But, from what I read on state guidelines they will add my ex's income and mine. I only make 616.00+ a month, go to college and have another child at home. I was told that the monthly payment already established will probably be changed even though this is about my dauhgter not my son. I changed jobs about 5 months ago and my income changed from my previous income of self employment. If I am reading right for VA guidelines they will go back to that amount and then come up with a figure. How is this right when I am not actually pulling in that amount a month. Then it will added to my ex's income and split between us two. I feel as if I am going to loose. I really feel confused and want to protect my rights but can't afford a laywer or find one not connected to my ex. My current husband and I would like to buy a home in the next year but I am hesitant now. I do not want to be garnished and it effect my credit. I want to pay appropiately but without the legal intervention since I have been paying and not trying to get away from payments. Where in the law does it protect someone trying to do right by their children but not wanting history to repaet itself and I get stuck with all the financial obligation and my ex getting all the brakes financially. He has a home and two vehicles all paid with cash of course. I have no possesions of my own and my job income is the only thing they can garnish, but is this necessary. Help I want to go to court on the 20th of October and not get stepped on. While still keeping my integrity and show that I am being responsible as I have been previously, but I have another child to support. The info locally and state DCSE is conflicting.

[Fr_Chuck]

First why did you sign custody over, even if and when children go into state detention for committing some act, you don't sign over custody and never give them your child support? Did you consult an attorney before you did all of that ?

And do you have an attorney for all of these hearings, you need one badly and you need to discuss these things with them.

And you demand in court for copies of all of his bank account records and make him explain where all the money comes from.

[stillhoping4justice]

Thank you FR Chuck for your response. Well, I did not sign over my rights. I did sign a court ordered transfer of custody is that the same? I have been told not to pay but if I withhold what is being sent through CSE am I breaking laws? I can not get a lawyer locally because my ex has lawyers and others in the system here. I've tried. They are not impartial. Also, I am trying to find a lawyer outside of the county but having trouble and finances are definitely tight. When we went to court it was for her breaking probation and I was advised that she might go to detention but no mention of custody being transferred was ever mentioned. I probably should have pushed the issue further but I was told there was nothing I could say about it. I am truly confused because according to her probation officer my parental rights are still intact and intact enough to go after me for support.
Thanks though you info made me ponder and question and agree I need a lawyer.
Thanks- stillhoping4justice