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quanyin8 · May 17, 2009, 01:36 AM

Hello

Wondered if I could get an opinion on my current situation. I am a single mum to a 9 year old boy, a full time student and have a partner of 3 years, he proposed to me over a year ago but no date set for wedding or moving in together.

We both have our own house and live in the same town, but sometimes I feel like we hardly see each other. For example he has a son who is a teenager and he doesn't see him on his normal weekend after an incident, so now he just seems to be at home, doing his car or sorting his house and I might pop over for dinner or he might pop over to me and then he goes home, or I go home and that's it..

I know its difficult now to sell our houses, but I feel like everybody else who gets engaged gets married and moves on and I seem to be nearly 40 and nothing progresses!

My ex (sons dad) was seeing someone behind my back while we were together, we were never married, but within a year they bought a house, got married and now have a little girl who's nearly one!

I feel like all I wanted was a family unit, and he just seems to do his own thing and we fit it whenever.

Do you think I am just being silly, should I just carry on as usual and do my own thing with my son and leave him to his own devices.?

I haven't even booked a holiday this year, it's the same every year, as he doesn't know what he is doing, whether his son is coming etc, etc, and I sometimes feel like he would be happy to go on holiday with me but not my son. I have no family nearby to help and his dad only has him for 2 weeks holiday a year, so what can I do!

I wish · May 17, 2009, 06:08 AM

Unless we are missing details, it sounds like the two of you are doing the best you can.

Either way, sounds like you have a lot of doubts about this relationship. It's time to confront your fiancé. Communication is the key. Tell him everything you told us.

liz28 · May 17, 2009, 07:45 PM

How are his interactions with your son?

I think your putting more pressure on the two of you moving forward because your using what your ex and his girlfriend did as guide. You can't compare your relationship to his and you don't know what is going on behind close doors.

You can on worry about your. It seems like your boyfriend has respect for your household and if you want him to stay the night sometimes or you stay overnight at his house then maybe you should talk to him about this. Found out the reasons.

I can understand you wanting to get marriage but marriage shouldn't be rushed. It takes time and like I Wish stated it is time to have a sit down and discuss the two of you future. There is no harm in talking.