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Bella0918 · May 16, 2009, 04:07 PM

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me recently. He said that we weren't right for each other. He told me that I was too dependent. Since then, I have moved out on my own, gotten a new job, joined an art class... really doing everything I can to gain that independence. My ex calls often. Our conversations are always positive happy and hopeful. We see each other often as well. We watch TV, he brings me dinner, and I make dessert. We always have a great time and at the end of the night we schedule another time that we can see each other. He told me that he doesn't know what is going to happen but that he likes how things have been going and because of that anything is possible. I am so confused. Does he really just want to be friends? Or are we starting over? I am afraid to ask him because I don't want to scare him off or push him away so I have just been taking things as they come. He is the best thing that ever happened to me and I don't want to believe that this is our end but I just don't know. Do you think there is hope for us?

Wondergirl · May 16, 2009, 04:14 PM

It sounds like he likes what you have become and are still becoming. Don't talk with him about it, but simply rave about all your independent activities and wanderings and interests. The less you lean on him for diversion, the more interested he will be. Don't be afraid to tell him no now and then, that you are too busy to spend time with him. That will make his eyes sparkle.

Homegirl 50 · May 16, 2009, 05:07 PM

He may be liking the person you have become but just because you still have feelings for him, don't let him take advantage of you. If the uncertainty of things begins to wear on you, tell him to state his intentions. Part of being independent is being able to speak your mind, say what you feel. Don't be timid with him. If you don't like something or want to know something, say so.

I wish · May 17, 2009, 06:22 AM

What is important is what do YOU want?

If you want to get back with him you got to let him know. If he doesn't feel the same way, then you got to cut your contact with him so that you don't keep having this false hope. In this case, you will need to find a way to move on.

If he's unsure and wants to try out this new friendship thing first and see what it leads to, and you feel the same way, then keep going.

Either possibility, don't drag out the situation that you are in because you are getting false hope and interpreting too many little signs. Let him know where you stand and what type of relationship/friendship you want with him and see if he can handle it.