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    Lisa Waweru's Avatar
    Lisa Waweru Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 12, 2009, 01:43 AM
    Is sex just about him?
    I am having sex with this guy, and apart from the fact that I want to get laid at some point, I would ditch him without batting an eyelid.

    Don't get me wrong, but I like him. A lot! But he doesn't work on my arousal as much. So long as he is hard and ready, he ponces on me like am an object of some sort.

    I have spoken to him about it. The fact that he is turned on, doesn't mean I am.

    We plan for outings and spend the whole night there. When we do that, I assume it is not a quickie that we will be doing the whole night, but a session that will include lots of foreplay and different positions. He will just remove my pants because that where the main course is but I remain fully dresses on top, yet I want him to explore my whole body but he doesn't. A few touches on my jaggs and he is ready to mount on me.this really pisses me off.

    I Have suggested we try new positions but he is not as experimental as I am. I get really tired of the missionary position, so one day after doing it for half the night, I refused to do it again because my legs were tired and so he had to try somrthing else. Since then, bcoz he loved it, that's all we've been doing. No more positions. I feel like am being shortchanged here. Then there was the blowjob. He has done it on me just once. And trust me, I don't smell. Yet, I have done a blowjob on him several times to suggest that am comfortable with it, but he never does it on me! I have asked him whether he is comfortable with it and he said yes. I can tell he like it when I do it on him, but why noe reciprocate? Since then, I decided I won't do it anymore on him and won't speak about it again! Why doesn't he like trying?

    Am I helpable or should I die of this misery? Shed light please!
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    May 12, 2009, 02:21 AM

    I would ditch him without batting an eyelid.
    I think this quote says it all really, you owe it to him and yourself to get out of the relationship and move on.

    I can't really say whether it is or it isn't just about sex.
    Maybe he doesn't like giving you oral but doesn't want to make you feel bad?
    Maybe he just can't be bothered?
    Maybe he just wants sex himself and doesn't worry about you?
    Maybe he is nervous about getting it right?

    See how many maybe's there are.
    Only way to find out the answers is to talk to him.
    Like someone on here as said before "If you can't talk about sex then you shouldn't be having it"

    (love that saying!)
    bronzebabe's Avatar
    bronzebabe Posts: 333, Reputation: 62
    Full Member
     
    #3

    May 12, 2009, 04:49 AM

    You said it, sex is all about him. You can have sex with someone that will give a crap about You having fun too. Stop batting eye lashes and DUMP him! He's a selfish lover, and Noone needs that!
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    May 12, 2009, 04:57 AM

    He is clearly not hearing you for whatever reason.Tell him,in no uncertain terms,this is what I want.(Explain your desires)If need be show him.
    Explain that you are not enjoying the sex the way it is and if he is not willing to meet you half way and at least make an effort,you are not going to be sexual with him anymore.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    May 12, 2009, 08:01 AM
    And its going to be hard finding another guy a bit more attentive for what reason?

    You should have NO problems finding a better guy than this one. And hell, there isn't ANYTHING easier than a woman finding a booty call. Most guys would sleep with ANY woman that shows even a little interest.
    nikosmom's Avatar
    nikosmom Posts: 1,611, Reputation: 488
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    May 12, 2009, 08:08 AM

    This guy is selfish and that's not fair to you. Talk to him (before you're in the heat of the moment) and explain how you're feeling. Tell him what you want and that he just ain't getting you off. Most women will not have an orgasm every single time they have sex but there's not reason it shouldn't at least put some effort into pleasing you.

    If he's not willing to try, move on. You already said you're only keeping him around to get laid. So if he ain't gettin' it right, why bother?
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    May 13, 2009, 01:46 AM
    Most guys really, really enjoy turning a woman on and are aroused by their arousal. They understand that sex is reciprocal, and it's not just about their own enjoyment.

    This guy sounds like a 'dud root' - as we say in Australia.

    He's concerned with his own pleasure, and has clearly indicated that he's not interested in yours. He's not into foreplay or trying different things - even when you've asked him. I don't think he's even interested in you.

    Take your own advice. Ditch him and don't look back.

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