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    hotbabe23's Avatar
    hotbabe23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 11, 2009, 04:40 AM
    I think I hurt him?
    At first everything was great.he used to hold me in public and kiss me in public,asks me out every two days,asks me to go to parties with him,introduced me to his friends and the whole thing.but one night I told him that I was waiting to have sex with someone special,and that I'm still a virgin.as we were making out I heard that song HALO and I started singing along.so two hours later while he was driving me home,he asked:why were you singing that song?do you mean anything with it?and I said:nah,I was just singing it and that's it.and he turned his face.the next time I saw him he said:u were talking about how you wanted to have sex with someone special,is it me?and I said noooooo(as a joke),and he said:oh OK,cause I don't want a serious relationship now.but after that night he stopped talking to me.thats when I text him and asked him what's wrong and if we are still FRIENDS,and he said that there's nothing wrong and that we are friends,but every time I asked him out he turned me down until he finally agreed on seeing me.thats when I asked if he is mad at me,and after we talked,he said:so you wanted to see me just to make sure that I'm not mad?and I said yes,and he shoke his head.
    And now we don't talk as much,I'm the one who always asks him out,or calls first.but when we get together,he cuddles in a sweet way,like make out and holds me closely and stuff like that(no sex)
    Do do you think he loves me,but was hurt when I did what I did?and if so,what should I do?
    p.s.he remebers little things I said to him all the time
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #2

    May 11, 2009, 08:30 AM

    He thinks you just want to be FRIENDS as that is what you told him you wanted to be.
    You would have hurt is pride and ego by saying that you didn't want to have sex with him (you said he wasn't that 'special' someone)

    You could explain everything to him... communication is key. He won't know that you don't just want to be friends unless you tell him.
    If you don't want the relationship to be serious because he isn't your special someone then you need to tell him that it is only casual.
    hotbabe23's Avatar
    hotbabe23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 11, 2009, 02:41 PM

    But he won't even agree on seeing me.the last time I really chased him like a puppy,trying to get him to agree on seeing me.
    So how can I ask him out again this time,without him turning me down?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #4

    May 11, 2009, 04:10 PM

    At this point most likely there is nothing you can do. You can't make someone see you. The only thing you can do is leave him a message clearing up what you said.

    However, if you are a virgin he should respect that and not push the issue. I think he wants sex and he see that he isn't going get any from you.

    Sometimes when things happens it can be a blessing in disguise.
    Starcrossed's Avatar
    Starcrossed Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 11, 2009, 06:40 PM

    Girl, you gave the man nothing to look forward to.

    Each one of your responses, (right after that terrible initial blow "waiting to have sex with someone special"), was increasingly negative.

    He was asking you something very serious in the car, and you made a joke...

    Then the next thing he knows, you are sending txt basically telling him you "want 2b friends" or whatever...

    What is he supposed to think? You didn't say you were waiting for marriage for sex, just "someone special". You never, never, never, never, tell a guy that there is a ZERO percent chance of him getting sex... EVER.
    inertia's Avatar
    inertia Posts: 308, Reputation: 60
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    #6

    May 13, 2009, 01:36 PM

    Look, I'm a good guy. If a girl doesn't want to sleep with me (virgin or not) I'll probably move on, unless I think marriage is definitely in the cards. You shouldn't feel pressured to sleep with anyone. However ladies, a guy can definitely love you and yet not be willing to wait as long as it takes.

    That's like saying to girls, if he doesn't ever pay for a date (hang in there) if you really love him you can wait for him to pay. Simple truth is, if someone's needs are not being fulfilled (no matter what they are) it is perfectly acceptable to move on to someone who will.

    Maybe you need a guy that doesn't want sex. Good luck with that.
    hotbabe23's Avatar
    hotbabe23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    May 14, 2009, 03:37 AM

    We got together and here's what happened:we were playing around when I told him I liked him and he didn't answer,so I said it again,but he said:i know,I understood what you said.and continued to cuddle.a few minutes later he told me his friend was leaving and he wants to hang with him,and he asked me if I can leave.it was around midnight and he just walked me to his door step.so I text after and said,that if a girl tells you she likes u,u do not treat hear like a slut and ask her to leave the way you did,and I'm not a slut,and that I won't waste my time on someone who has no respect for me.and that he should get himself a new playmate .and he answered:im sorry I offended u,but I didn't mean to,and I was just treating you like a FRIEND and I don't think you are a slut.so I said:a friend will never make another feel bad.thats why they are friends.and he was like:do you want to talk about it cause I can't over texting.I said:i don't feel like talking,so call me another time if you want.
    Do you think I did the right thing?what's wrong?
    I was crying ll the way home and I don't know what to do now.
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #8

    May 14, 2009, 04:11 AM

    He wants sex.

    He wants to be your friend.

    Be his friend and find someone else.

    Simple enough :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    May 15, 2009, 07:27 AM
    Your not friends, your cuddle bunnies. You have already said he was not special, so what do you expect from the guy? Friends don't cuddle, and make out.

    Either define the relationship, and get it straight what you mean to each other, or let him get someone who wants more than just cuddle bunnies.

    Do you have other people in your life that you have fun with?

    At least make him your boyfriend, or stop the cuddling. You don't have to have sex to do that, but it will give him a clue where you really stand.
    hotbabe23's Avatar
    hotbabe23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    May 16, 2009, 03:05 AM

    I asked him and he told me that this not a serious relationship.
    I want it to be serious,but he doesn't.so do you think I should just end it?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    May 16, 2009, 07:45 AM
    Just be friends, and not cuddle bunnies. You don't end it with friends, you just make new ones.

    You don't treat him like a boyfriend either. When people can't, or don't want to give you what you want, so you look elsewhere.
    wantanftw's Avatar
    wantanftw Posts: 30, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    May 16, 2009, 05:39 PM
    I'm a guy and I know what I'm saying if you told him you were waiting for him he wouldn't have made you do it right then and there he might have waited because you showed him you were interested


    And also tell him you want to have a long term relationship with him if he says he would then keep him if not just let him be
    hotbabe23's Avatar
    hotbabe23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #13

    May 19, 2009, 06:32 AM

    I asked him out and he said he was busy,so,I asked him again and he didn't respond.
    Then I text him this:i hate to be rude,but I tried to tell this in person and I got no response from u,I don't play around with a friend and I agreed on doing it with you cause I liked you more than a friend.I liked you in a special way.but the feeling isn't mutual and you told me this is going nowhere with me.so this whole thing is making me uncomfortable.so I want to save myself the heart break and end this.please don't hate me,god knows I don't.
    And he didn't respond,so,I called him and he didn't answer
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
    Uber Member
     
    #14

    May 19, 2009, 06:36 AM

    Please leave the poor boy alone.

    He isn't answering you because he doesn't want a relationship with you. Pushing him is only going to make matters worse.

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