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none12345 · May 8, 2009, 02:24 PM

Hey guys just wanted to input my thoughts on why it's a good thing the ex left and to help those who are going through a tough breakup. It seems to be a common problem. Here is some thoughts of reasoning, in case you don't see this yet because you're still blinded from emotions.

It's a good thing because now you know who they really are. If they leave you for someone or break up with you or tell you their confused, whatever it is you know she is not the one or you.

They are not the best thing that will happen to you, so don't tell yourself that. If they were, they wouldn't have left you. You will find someone better! You want someone that is loyal, loves you forever and will never leave your side! And that is definitely not your ex.

Why to never chase after your ex after they broke up with you?

This is because when you chase after them, they run or if you manage to get them back by begging, promising and all those things; they will tell you they ll give you one last chance, and they want to see change. You will then do everything they tell you in fear of them leaving you once again like they did before even if that causes you unhappiness. You will literally become their slave and if you don't do what they want, they will tell you they don't see any change and leave you again.

If your ex can leave you once, if you get them back, they won't have problems leaving you again, so don't go after them once its over period! The trust should be gone the first time they leave you. No trust = no relationship! You don't need to earn a chance with them, just go on with your life and be happy if they decide they love you, it is their turn to earn a chance with you!

Once you have completely let go of your ex and moved on with your life and do the things that will make you happy, the perfect someone will walk into your life. They have made a decision for themselves. They want themselves to be happy even if that means not with you and you should make a decision that benefits you not her.

A healthy relationship is when both people share their lives together and be happy together. Its not a good thng when one is happy and the other isn't, its just going to cause lots of conflicts down the road so don't go down that road. By changing yourself or your partner, you are changing what defines you as a unique person into someone you are not and true happiness won't be found there.

If your ex is confused about their feelings, they don't love you. Love should never be confusing, it something for sure. How can you be with someone that doesn't love you?

To heal your heart from a breakup, put no contact with your ex into place, it will get easier slowly over time and eventually you ll feel like you don't need them in your life anymore. Easier said then done. Just get out more with your friends and family, catch up with your old buddies instead of staying inside the whole time, that will only make you think of them. Keep busy, start a new hobby and basically just enjoy life.

Yup, if you guys have any more input feel free to post =P

- none12345

ajGambino · May 8, 2009, 03:42 PM

Good post, good things to see.

I'll add:

He/She left YOU. Do not feel guilty for trying to move on with yourself, it's obvious that they themselves wanted to do so.

Also, think positive about yourself and negative about the person who left you. It's working for me, maybe it'll work for you.

artlady · May 8, 2009, 03:52 PM

Great post none. Realistic and yet still hopeful.
There is life after a break-up.Even if it feels like there can't possibly be when you are newly single.

none12345 · May 8, 2009, 04:55 PM

Nice advice guys =P

teastalk · May 25, 2009, 11:15 PM

Originally Posted by none12345

Its a good thing because now you know who they really are. If they leave you for someone or break up with you or tell you their confused, whatever it is you know she is not the one or you.

They are not the best thing that will happen to you, so dont tell yourself that. If they were, they wouldnt have left you. You will find someone better! You want someone that is loyal, loves you forever and will never leave your side! and that is definitely not your ex.

I like this part. I'll try to keep it in mind.

Romefalls19 · May 26, 2009, 05:46 AM

Another great post! Starting to see a very increasing trend, keep it up

none12345 · May 26, 2009, 02:17 PM

This is a realization thread. Its what I've realized after a break up and I would like to share with others =P

Also I would like to add,

Where do you go after NC?

You start to get angry of how you've been treated and for some people you start feeling embarrassed for all the things you've done for them.

After that you ll start to be thankful that you loved and was loved by them. Your days start to look up, you start to smile again, you start to listen to music and think about it and smile and hope is regained that you ll find true love.

If your ways cross path, maybe a friendship would be possible. If not that's fine, you're happy where you are. Then you start doing all the things you wanted to do but never got to it. Start to go out be around people again. You ll meet a nice person, and who knows that person might be the one you marry. =P

Survivor07 · May 26, 2009, 06:35 PM

Roadblocks to NC: Facebook/MySpace, texting, e-mail... all CRAP.

First of all, it's not face to face talk, so you get even more confused, let alone you can't read body language over the wires, you know?

I think from reading everyone's troubles on here, that if they would just stay away from those things, it might help.

Of course, what do I know? When I was young, these things didn't exist!

Nice thread, Noney. Great to see you so positive. Keep up the good work!!