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ted boy · May 5, 2009, 06:10 AM

Im a 32 years old male who has just started going out with a girl who has been my best friend for the last 3years and who was my ex before that!
When we became an item,(approx 7yrs ago) we fell madly in love with each other and due to the then circumstances moved in together and couldn't get enough of each other. Of course in hindsight its obvious but we split up due to moving in too quickly and became 'one' as a pose to being 2 independent people, which we are to this day.
The following years came and went with both of us having relationships with others, but not really getting anywhere near the bonds of love and respect we both had with one another. In the last couple of years our friendship blossomed and we have become the closest of friends. During this time we have both had on numerous occasions friends and strangers saying how good a couple we would be and why we don't make a go of things. Any way to cut this a bit shorter and get to the problem we've now got together about a month ago, but are now finding it a little difficult to go from friends to lovers, which we know we can achieve by being patient.
So I was just wondering what other people thought? And how to go about building up a sexual chemistry... As being in the moment sometimes blinds you to the obvious

talaniman · May 5, 2009, 06:40 AM

Little difficult to go from friends to lovers

Its difficult but exactly what problems are you having?

Triysle · May 5, 2009, 07:00 AM

You can't create "sexual chemistry," sorry. If it's there, it's there. If it's not, trying to force it will just make things harder on both of you.

If you have such a good friendship, and you already tried a relationship once (which, by the way, consider yourself REALLY lucky you can be friends after breaking up), why not just let things work out on their own?

The very worst thing you can do is try to control her feelings, or control the situation in any way. If she wants something, and she knows it, she'll go for it. All you can do right now is be yourself, be confident in your own life, and if she doesn't want to take it further don't push it.

~ Tee

I wish · May 5, 2009, 07:34 AM

You don't create sexual chemistry. If it's true that the two of you have rebuilt the friendship, then it's also OK to talk about your feelings with one another. How about you tell her how you feel first and see how she feels about you before worrying about the sexual aspects.

Romefalls19 · May 5, 2009, 07:48 AM

What exact problems are you having?

jjwoodhull · May 5, 2009, 07:49 AM

I agree that sexual chemistry can not be created. You say that as a couple, things were not good. As friends, things were great. Just curious... are you sure you want to try the couple thing again?

ted boy · May 5, 2009, 07:50 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Its difficult but exactly what problems are you having??

Thanks for the reply...
I guess it's the cross over from being friends and flirting, to looking at each other as boyfriend and girlfriend if that makes any sense at all!? If anything maybe I need to be patient because I guess its not the normal start to a relationship where you go through the lustfulness and newness as we now each other extremely well already.