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entourage1 · Apr 27, 2009, 08:13 PM

So I'm only a senior in high school, but I've been with this girl for 2 years. Everything was always great. We really did have an amazing relationship. Sometimes jealousy caused some conflicts, but other than that... amazing. Two weeks before my prom she goes out with her friends, I go out with mine... and the next day she says she wants time to be alone. She wants time as school is coming to a close to have the experiences she never got to have because she was always attached to me. I'm from outside her little "school social group" and I think that she always felt responsible for me when we went out. The bottom line is I do love the girl, but a week later she hooked up with someone else, took him to prom, and then I saw her at his house one night by coincidence. That hurts... she tells me he is a friend and she has not moved on and that I'm "insane" for thinking that. But am I? I have decided to not talk to her at all, but it scares me. I've never felt this ty before. She introduced me to a completely new world.. seriously. And I loved it, her, and all her friends and family. How one day could she wake up and change her mind? She always said, "Let's not worry about college, let's just have a great time until then." And... a month away from summer... she ruins it. I would love to have her back, but I am not going to wait around for it. Does anyone think that this soon she could have forgotten me and legitimately moved on? Thanks for the help, I'm a little new at this.

kayjay09 · Apr 27, 2009, 08:18 PM

It does sound like she's moving on. But, you've got to give her her space. Try not to contact her at all, keep yourself as busy as possible, it will help a bit, and if things were meant to be, she will come back to you.

friend4u178 · Apr 27, 2009, 08:22 PM

Hi
I'm sorry for your pain but unfortunately this happens all the time.

To you this is out of the blue and seems all of a sudden but its something she's been thinking about for a while and that's why she seems to be able to just have moved on so quickly.

She's already let all her emotional demons settle while your at the very beginning.

Best thing to do is go complete No Contact and that means no texts , emails etc. and that will help you to start the healing process a lot quicker rather than getting stuck with false hope and wasting a lot of energy for no return.

Read the Stickies at the top of the forum for some good ideas on how to deal with all this and just come back and vent on here whenever your feeling down. There are some real good people on here and I'm sure more will come along and help you get through this. Its not easy but if you read a lot of the other stories on here you'll realise your not alone.

Good Luck!

none12345 · Apr 27, 2009, 11:10 PM

There is no such thing as "no reason break up". There is always a reason it just means you don't know what it is. Try to find what that reason for your sake. Don't let her string you along. The relationship is over and its time to move on. Be happy and do the things you want to. Disappear from her life and let yourself heal.

kctiger · Apr 28, 2009, 06:06 AM

Been there man. I was replaced shortly after a 4 1/2 year relationship. I use the word replaced very, very lightly, as lets be honest, you don't just "replace" a dude like me ;).

You will get better. You are a young lad about to enter college. College is a buffet, and isn't meant to be a single serving, if you catch my drift. Good luck man! It will get better.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2009, 06:49 AM

You will learn to cope with your feelings, and gradually get over them. That's part of the growing process, so leave her alone, and move to new options, and opportunities.

Romefalls19 · Apr 28, 2009, 06:53 AM

Read the stickies at the top of this forum, they are great for helping people move on and heal. It takes times, no one expects you to take a break up with a smile.

entourage1 · Apr 28, 2009, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Been there man. I was replaced shortly after a 4 1/2 year relationship. I use the word replaced very, very lightly, as lets be honest, you don't just "replace" a dude like me ;).

You will get better. You are a young lad about to enter college. College is a buffet, and isn't meant to be a single serving, if you catch my drift. Good luck man! It will get better.

KCtiger, what were some of the things you did to deal with that? How long did it take you to start feeling at all better? Graduation and things are coming up and I don't want them to go by while I'm miserable. 4 1/2 years is a lot more than what I had, but how long until you really didn't miss her that much?

kctiger · Apr 29, 2009, 05:44 AM

Well... to be honest I absolutely tore myself down to the deepest level of pathetic one could get (without becoming a full blown loser). There were steps man.

1. Cry, a lot. I am not ashamed to say I cried like a baby for a LONG time
2. Drink, a lot. Probably too much. I couldn't sleep at night, so I would drink a few beers to "numb" the pain. (I don't recommend this at all)
3. Beg her back, doing so many stupid things to make an a$$ of myself.
4. Talk to my parents and friends, non-stop. I developed a whole new relationship with my mother due to this.
5. Found this website. This website made a WORLD of difference, which is why I am still here helping others. EVERYONE on here has been through this, so through experience, we can truly help those around us.
6. Got off my a$$ and simply got tired of wasting my life away. Hit the gym HARD, lost a lot of baby fat weight, got healthier, got my own place, hit school full time for my MBA, got another part time job, and volunteered to help others out.

It was a process man. A span of at least 4 or 5 months of grieving and wallowing in self pity, all along taking small steps to get myself happy again. I hadn't been truly happy in a LONG time, because I relied on others for happiness (mainly, my ex). That isn't fair. Once you go through heartbreak, you can start to rebuild from scratch, and you find out what really makes you happy. It prepares you for life, and life is beautiful once you accept that your happiness depends on no one else but yourself. I won't lie though, it has been 8 months since our breakup and I still have moments where I miss her. I will always love her as a person, and I no longer have the anger. I can look back with a smile and be proud of everything we accomplished together, all the while knowing I am making a better life for myself.

You will get there. You are young and have soooo much to experience. Life is a garden man, dig it! :)

Romefalls19 · Apr 29, 2009, 07:52 AM

Got to spread it KC, but you are a perfect example of trial by fire. I remember when you first came here, didn't want to listen to anyone who told you it was over and now you see we knew what needed to be done, wasn't just us being bitter.

To the OP, follow KC's advice, he worked really hard to get where he is at

ak_847 · Apr 29, 2009, 12:17 PM

Sorry for whatever happen to you.. but it seems very clear she had no intentions of being with you after school gets over.. shes definitely into the new guy and very soon she's going to be with some other guy.. this girl simply isn't worth it.. be strong move on I know its easy to say I myself haven't moved on and still cry after 1 month of breaking up.. but brother that's the only option we got..