 |
|
| Browse | Ask | Answer | Search | Join/Login |
|
|
||||
|
How do you get a guy to be more affectionate?
How do you get a guy to be more affectionate? If he does not show affection does it mean he doesn't love you even though he says he does?
|
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Everyone is different.
Some people grow up in a family where there is a lot of open displays of affection and so it is very easy for them to be affectionate. Some people grow up in families where there is no display of affection and for these people it is harder to show how they feel. I think if they show you by all of their other actions that they care for you ,you need to trust that it is so. You could say to your partner I would like this or that and try not to be accusatory.Use *I* statements. *I* feel a little neglected when you don't put your arm around me or *I* feel neglected when you don't respond to my affection. *I* message take the sting out of the request and do not make your partner feel guilty or pressured. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Try communication, talking solves 99% of relationship problems |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
No it doesn't mean that... In some cases you will find men who can't because they don't know how or they are afraid. Sit and talk to him about it... be open and be supportive and not selfish. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Some of us dudes, aka me, aren't good at showing affection right off the bat. It is merely a comfortability issue. It takes awhile to break down a barrier that some of us guys have. Have you talked to him about this issue? I assure you it has little or nothing to do with the way he feels about you. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Everyone expresses affection differently. Though it may seem emotionless to you, it may be a big step for him. Why don't you talk it through with him? If he really cared about you, he wouldn't want to lose you either. So he will put in the effort somewhere and somehow. What you want is for him to show you that you are important to him right? There must be a common ground that you guys can compromise upon. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Just because he is not affectionate the way you want him to be, doesn't mean he doesn't care. He may not know what you want, or how to give you what you want. Its up to you to let him know in a positive way, as Artlady has pointed out. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
If he was affectionate at first and now he is not, you definitely have a problem. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Is he like that ever since? If he is then it will take some time for him to be affectionate. Certainly when you demand, you have to show the same. When you want a hug, hug him and say hug me back then blurt out "This feels good. If you'll do this often without me asking I'd be very very happy." If he does it, praise him. Do this on other things say, kissing, holding hands, gift giving, surprises (if he likes one), flirting... Again, it will take time because people that aren't affectionate are not used to these things. They need to take off awkwardness and some discomfort. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
No, it doesn't mean he doesn't care, especially if he's always been this way in your relationship. He is probably afraid, or just simply doesn't know how to show his affection. Everyone is different, you just need to talk to him about it without putting him down because he probably doesn't even know that he's doing anything "wrong" or that you're feeling neglected. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
I agree with what everyone said above. Let him know that he needs to be more affectionate and if he loves you he will make an effort to be but you can't change people to what they are not because that will bring unhapiness. I've heard many experiences with this problem and most of them turned out that the other tries too hard to be but in the end that person can't be more affectionate. Its just the way they are. Although that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
I've been trying to get my partner to take me out for a romantic dinner for 3 years now... Unless you count macdonalds drive through I still haven't succeeded... I've tried using the *I* statements but nothing works, he came from a pretty messed up family so I've just learnt to accept that affection and romance isn't his strong point... As long as I gt my cuddles on the couch I'm happy :) |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Comment on artlady's post
I grew up with no affection in my family as a child and I starve for it. But to answer this persons question... I can't I have the same problem lol but mine won't even talk to me aobut my feelings
|
||||
|
|
| Question Tools | Search this Question |
Check out some similar questions!
Hi everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read this. I started dating a guy, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years (because he was too nice to me, it's sad, I don't know why it works like that) Unfortunately, I'm not use to not being showered with affection now. I know the...
We've been dating for almost 6 months now; in the beginning of the relationship he would kiss me a lot more and that would make me happy (but that was only for the first couple months) Sometimes it feels like we're only friends.. he 'almost always' gives me a quick kiss when we're saying goodnight,...
I have lived with my boyfriend for over a year and 2 months after we lived together, he stopped being affectionate. I get a morning peck on the mouth and hug when he leaves for work but there is no affection initiated on his part. He thinks I am hot looking and calls me sexy all the time but that's...
Hey all, I am new to this site so ill start by introducing myself. I am female, aged 19 and live near London. I am going university this year to study graphic design and being a student, I only work part time. My boyfriend is aged 20 and studying illustration at university in London, and we've...
My boyfriend is not affectionate he holds my hand and kisses me only if I tell him though.If we hold hands he doesn't just take it he holds his hand out to get me to hold it.How should I deal with it?
View more questions Search
|
