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NELLS · Apr 23, 2009, 12:54 AM

Please help me.. I struggle with telling the truth.I grew up in a family that was very poor and I started lying to hide my real situation from my friends.. I was scared people would push me away if they knew the truth.. but now I can't seem to stop doing it.I have no reason to lie but I still feel that people will think badly of me if I had to tell the truth.Ive lied to almost everyone in my life at some point or another.I really struggle with letting people inside and trusting people and its taking over my life.I want to live honestly and have respect for myself again.can someone give me advice?

alana1xxx · Apr 23, 2009, 03:44 AM

I would suggest that you go to counselling for this you obviously still feel the need to lie to people for some unknown reason maybe you don't even know yourself but it is a problem that you will need to get sorted out for yourself if nobody else.

I can understand that we all sometimes exajerate from time to time are your lies hurtful? Or spiteful towards other people? If they are innocent white lies then I wouldn't panic about it but would still go to a counsellor or even confide in a close friend :)

JoeCanada76 · Apr 23, 2009, 04:09 AM

Yes, Counseling is needed. There may be deeper issues here as well. Not only the one you mentioned about being poor, but you say you have a hard time trusting people. You need to get to the bottom of why you do not trust people or is it just because you do not trust yourself with others.

The only suggestion is to get counseling..

Joe

redhed35 · Apr 23, 2009, 04:58 AM

Breaking childhood habits is difficult,but for the most part by the time we reach early adult hood most have developed a good sense of right and wrong.
Being aware that you are lying is good.. not good that you are lying,but aware of what you are doing.
Seeking professional advice will give you the tools to over come the lying and get to the root of any deep seated trust issues.

I wish · Apr 23, 2009, 09:54 AM

Not much more to add. You need professional help for this kind of problem.

Definitely see a counsellor or a therapist.

Jake2008 · Apr 24, 2009, 01:13 AM

It is hard to stop a lie that has been created to turn you into someone that is not real.

I would suspect that people you lie to would be suspicious anyway. It is hard to keep lies going, and convincing people of a lie by lying even more.

Any real truth is going to have to come from you, and you need to think before you lie. When somebody asks you where you live, or what you do, think first that you are simply not going to lie, and tell the truth.

It will take as much practise to tell the truth, as it did to telling lies about yourself, but, it will be much easier once you make the decision to be honest.

Counselling may help you plan and prepare for this change, and there is certainly no harm in going that route.

You will feel much better about yourself, and in control, once you get started.

Good luck.

Gemini54 · Apr 26, 2009, 12:17 AM

I just wanted to re-iterate what others have said. Seek professional help!

Awareness is the first stage of change. Good on you for recognizing that you have a problem. If you can't be honest with yourself you'll never be honest with others.

Now that you're being honest with yourself you can move forward. It won't be easy but imagine how much better you'll feel (and those around you as well).

Don't be ashamed to ask for help - people are more compassionate than you think.