[wornoutmom]

I am running out of ways to deal with my 10 yr old son. He puts no effort into anything he does. At school he rushes through his work, sloppy, forgets things, lies about missing work. Same goes at home, when asked to do a chore or about homework, he throws a fit and disrespects me so bad. How should I disapline him for this? Please Help!

[artlady]

Make sure he knows the rules.Very specifically.Tell him what they are ,write them down and put a copy on the fridge.

Also the consequences if he chooses to ignore the rules.
Make them clear.

Consistency is the key.Stick to your guns.

If he mouths off ,have a set discipline in mind.*Since you want to show me disrespect,you will go to bed a half an hour early,you can spend that time thinking about your behavior*.

Try to make the punishment fit the crime.

Very often parents get so fed up they just throw up their hands in frustration and give up.You can't.
You need to address unacceptable behavior every time it happens.

Stay calm but explain that he knows the rules.When you are making your chart to be put on the fridge,have him be right there,and ask for input.

You try many different things until you find something you can call a success.

[liz28]

Regarding his schoolwork, you have work with his teacher by maybe asking her if you can his homework assignments before hand. Make him do any miss assignment even if it gets handing in late. I had to do this with my daughter but luckily the teacher gave her a weekly homework assignment sheet at the beginning of each week. This made it easier to keep on top of things. A parent/teacher relationship is very important.


Artlady give you some great suggestions too to use. Take away things he like when he acts up and try on things no matter what. Don't be afraid of him nor let him get rid of things.

Talk, talk, and talk some more to him. When my daughter was acting up I punish her but I kept trying to talk to her regardless if she wanted to to try to get to the root of her anger.

Come to find out there were problems at school and she was very unhappy there. Can you believe that an 8 year old was getting pick on because of her race and had to deal with racist spurs from other kids her age? The school she went to was mostly filled with whites and there was only a handful of black kids. Marched right in the principal office the following day to address the issue. Luckily she has a good principal because he to addressed this serious issue right away and got a positive outcome. I am glad he did because I know violence isn't the best things but I wanted to beat up some third graders along with their parents because I couldn' believe the things that was being said and couldn't believe she had to deal with issue at such a young age.

So please talk, and talk to him but enforce the rules. If your hitting a brick wall by talking to him than take him to counseling to rule out ADD, ADHD, OCD, etc.

[wornoutmom]

regarding his schoolwork, you have work with his teacher by maybe asking her if you can his homework assignments before hand. Make him do any miss assignment even if it gets handing in late. I had to do this with my daughter but luckily the teacher gave her a weekly homework assignment sheet at the begining of each week. This made it easier to keep on top of things. A parent/teacher relationship is very important.


Artlady give you some great suggestions too to use. Take away things he like when he acts up and try on things no matter what. Don't be afraid of him nor let him get rid of things.

Talk, talk, and talk some more to him. When my daughter was acting up i puish her but i kept trying to talk to her regardless if she wanted to to try to get to the root of her anger.

Come to find out there were problems at school and she was very unhappy there. Can you believe that an 8 year old was getting pick on because of her race and had to deal with racist splurs from other kids her age? The school she went to was mostly filled with whites and there was only a handful of black kids. Marched right in the principal office the following day to address the issue. Luckily she has a good pricipal because he to addressed this serious issue right away and got a positive outcome. I am glad he did because i know volience isn't the best things but i wanted to beat up some third graders along with their parents because i couldn' believe the things that was being said and couldn't believe she had to deal with issue at such a young age.

So please talk, and talk to him but enforce the rules. If your hitting a brick wall by talking to him than take him to counseling to rule out add, adhd, ocd, etc.

:d:d

[problem109]

You got really good advice here from artlady and liz28 I just want to add that you make sure there isn't a problem before you start with the rules at home because if your child is going through issues at school rules at home will not help because he will not care.