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headspace66 · Apr 20, 2009, 06:55 AM

I have been involved with a girl for some time, we are both 40ish. At the end of Feb this year she told me she loved me and asked me to marry her ( I agreed ). Anyway her Dad died 2 days later and she returned home for the funeral. While she was there and we were chatting on MSN, we had a huge misunderstanding and she totally cut me off ( I tried to get a hold of her daily for 6 weeks ) and got nowhere. Now all of a sudden she contacts ( 2 months later )me. Tells me she has not and can not stop thinking about me but she rebounded with this other guy. She wants some time to figure out what to do as she has feeling for him as well ( she has never said love ) but she still says she loves me but doesn't want to hurt anyone as he is a nice man. She has asked me to back off and just be her friend for a couple of weeks while she goes through this and has told the other guy the same thing, I have agreed to back off. However she insists on talking to me daily and seeing me as well ( no physical as I refuse to until this is resolved ). However I had also bought her a 2.5 karat ruby necklace the day before her dad Died. She initially demanded that I return it now she just wants me to hold it for later ( her words ) as well when I talked to her yesterday she started crying because she claims " I am with her all the time " when I asked she was referring to the fact that it feels like I am with her constantly.
Should I move on or wait it out. What is she really thinking about us

artlady · Apr 20, 2009, 07:06 AM

Are you plan B? In case the other guy doesn't work out?

When you allow someone to push and pull and dictate when you will be together and when you won't ,you are setting yourself up for more of the same in the future.

Ask yourself if you can handle that for a lifetime? Since you are considering marriage.

talaniman · Apr 20, 2009, 08:00 AM

Just me, you understand, but I take the jewelry back, and disappear from her life.

A red flag is when the reality of life drives you apart, as its those hardships that bond us for the long term, because we work WITH our partner to solve differences, and issues, through love and support.

She chooses not to, so let her solve her own problems without you, and keep your dignity and self respect.

Her actions speak volumes, and you need to listen. I know, not what you want to hear, but a good partner doesn't push you away and put you on hold, while she gives time to another.

Read my signature very carefully.

liz28 · Apr 20, 2009, 08:20 AM

Wait a second! She contacts you 2 months later after the two of you had a misunderstanding pouring out her heart to you while she is in a relationship with someone new but then got the nerves to tell you to back off. Is she crazy, seriously?

Leave her confuse, troublesome butt alone.

artlady · Apr 20, 2009, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by liz28

Wait a second! She contacts you 2 months later after the two of you had a misunderstanding pouring out her heart to you while she is in a relationship with someone new but then got the nerves to tell you to back off. Is she crazy, seriously?

Leave her confuse, troublesome butt alone.

Can't rep you Liz but you always make me laugh.That last line just says it all :D