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Jamesthedude · Apr 18, 2009, 10:19 PM

Hey everybody!

Please help me! I am 25 and I am single. Until I was 16 I was very attrected to girls and even had sex with a few girls at school. I was a very naughty boy to be doing that so early but it happened. However, my life growing up was not very easy. My mother was very very abusive and had never had a father as they never married. I grew to dislike woman and found comfort in my male friends and looked up to older adult man. They seem not to gudge me as much as my mother did. In woman I was without love.

Before I knew it I was sexually attracted to men and just always wanted to be sorrounded by man. These feeling did not make me happy and I have been trying for years to push them down. I love very few woman. It has nothing to do with looks but more the personality. I have met a few ladies I like and when I do meet a lady I can feel that things can work. But I get confused because I find myself thinking about man. My thoughts about man only include straight man and I not at all attracted to gay guys.

I am in a mess and I need help. I know I have felt for woman before. Now I feel for man. I cannot be with man it is not something I can handle and its not something I want. I have very strong feeling for man and I am not sure I can have the same females. I am afraid to try a relationship with a woman because I am scared someone is going to find out that something is wrong with me. No one knows up to now.

What do you suggest I do to gain full feelings for a woman and move on with my life. I would love to be married and have kids. I know the feelings I have for man are a comfort thing. Both emotionally and sexually as I am scared of females. There is fear and hatred in me for woman I know how I can fight because I want to spend my life with a woman.

There is nothing in the world I need more than a woman right now.

artlady · Apr 18, 2009, 10:26 PM

Why can't you follow your heart and be with a man?

You can't spend your life living a lie,you will cheat yourself and anyone who is with you if your are not sincere.
Why can't you be free to be who you are ? Lets discuss it.

Synnen · Apr 19, 2009, 08:36 AM

You need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist to get to the bottom of your feelings.

Whether you are gay at this point is irrelevant.

You NEED to find out how to fix your intimacy issues in general before you can move on and have a happy, healthy life.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 19, 2009, 09:28 AM

Since you are not attacted to gay men, I have personal doubts on what little was said if you are gay, as much as just hate women because of your mother.

Now you may turn out to be, but then you would want to be attacted to other gay men.

Sounds like some years of counseling in your future

bronzebabe · Apr 19, 2009, 09:39 AM

Do get some therapy... it will help you sort out the feelings you are having and help you to realize if you are gay, and like men, or if you are straight and like women, or both...
whatever you do, and whoever you like, do not live a lie...be forth coming with who you are...life is too short to be a fake..

excon · Apr 19, 2009, 09:39 AM

Hello dude:

Fantasy's are nice. The cool thing about them is they don't have to be acted upon.

excon

Xrayman · Apr 19, 2009, 10:10 PM

I think you need counselling-you are not gay, just hurt by difficult women in your past.

You say you are living a lie-tell us EXACTLY what you mean by what you think is a lie-this may have the real bearing on your sexuality.

chrissymarie · Apr 20, 2009, 10:11 AM

I also believe counseling is needed. But follow you heart is the only advice I can give you. You'll be happier this way. And that applies to everything in your life. You only live once and you can't live focusing and worrying about other peoples opinions of your life.

Your sexuality is not hurting anyone but yourself because you are too worried about it. Gay couples can adopt children now and create children. There is a way around everything