[tmack2833]

My friend had a brief relationship with this woman at work(3mos) which possibly resulted in her getting pregnant. She also has twin boys by this other guy we work with(we all work in the same wherehouse). She also has a 9 year old daughter with this other guy. But anyway, she has anger issues. When my friend told her that his main focus was the child and not her, she became very bitter. This was after he told her he didn't want to marry her and that he didn't love her after only dating for 3 months but he only wants to take care of his child. She then became very verbally abusive, calling him yelling and screaming on the phone. I have heard these messages and none of them pertained to the child, they all pertained to her. She also approaches him at work doing the same thing, the final straw was when he was sitting in his car and she approached his car yelling and acting a fool. He ignored her and went and filed a restraining order on her. So all through her pregnancy she hasn't been able to verbally abusive him and it was driving her nuts, I was a witness to this. Anyway, the child is now here and they have to do a paternity test because he thinks she was spending time with her twins father because he tried to fight him at work when he realized she was pregnant. The little girl is now 1 month old and he has yet to see her because he doesn't know if he is her father But he did file on her first for sole or joint physical and of course she doesn't want him to have neither because she won't get as much child support. Sadly she wants to use this child as a way to get back at him because he didn't want to be with her. My question is does he have a chance of getting joint custody (50/50) because of the restraining order which is under Domestic Violence? Or will it hurt him cause he has not seen the child yet? I know she will use this in court. This angers me so because he is a wonderful man and would make a great father.

[ScottGem]

You are puitting the cart before the horse. The first step here is getting the paternity test. Once its determined whether he is the father or not, then he can deal with the custody issue. I don't see why he can't get joint custody, the restraining order has nothing to do with that.

[tmack2833]

Thank you for your answer it did help. He had mediation today and no one even told the mediator that he wanted a DNA test. So he had mediation and a court date for next month without having a DNA test. So now he has to go to court next month to tell the judge that they needs to go take a test.

[ScottGem]

I'm confused. What is he waiting for? Just go to a lan and arrange for the test? The only reason he needs to deal with the court for the test is if she is refusing to allow it. If she refuses, then unless he really wants to know, he's off the hook.

[tmack2833]

She doesn't want to take it. When he filed for sole or joint custody he also filed for a paternity test. On her response she wrote that she is 100% percent sure that he is the father and will not go take the DNA test but she did file for child support immediately after the child was born on August 7. But she has made no reference to the paternity test so when he went to mediation(they had separate appts.) he told them that he isn't sure if he's the father. The mediator had no idea, so on Oct 3 they have a court date and that's when the judge will mandate her to go take it. If she is so sure, I don't know why she won't go take it. She just wants to make things difficult for him because he didn't want to be in a relationship with her. And she already has 3 other kids by 2 different people, it seems like she would want to hurry and get this over with so she can get child support and help because I know she is having a hard time raising 4 kids alone.