[chrissymarie]

How many previous sexual partners is too many? I'm seeing someone right now who has told me he's been with no more than 30 girls... I feel like that is too much. Am I right? He is 21.

[artlady]

Is he maybe thinking if he stretches the truth you will be impressed?
That seems like a lot for a guy so young.
I would question his morality and wonder if he is one of those guys who see women as sex objects.
Yes,I would say that is too many.

[mudweiser]

If your honestly happy with yourself and comfortable with the decisions you've made than your okay. Once in a relationship it now depends on the partner feeling comfortable; some people draw their limit at 5 others at 60.

If this plays a factor in the relationship, then it's obviously not the right one to be in.

MRS.S

[Synnen]

Some people would say that TWO is too many.

Others would say that there is no limit.

Personally, I think people shouldn't talk about specifics of their sex life previous to their current partner, and shouldn't EVER bring up numbers. All it ever does is cause problems with one partner or the other.

[smoothy]

This all depends on your age... obviously what's fine for someone with 50 years to play around is going to be a real bad number for an 18 year old.

[45notdaddy]

Personally, I think people shouldn't talk about specifics of their sex life previous to their current partner, and shouldn't EVER bring up numbers. All it ever does is cause problems with one partner or the other.

In this day of more STD's than flavors at a candy shop it's more important than ever to be up front about sexual specifics when getting into a relationship - it gives everyone involved an idea of what they're getting into. When I first started dating my girlfriend several years ago we had a frank discussion about all of this - to the point that she asked me if I could remember all of the names (first names at least) of the women I'd been with to that point and it was quite the list. (I could) The issues come to play when you start comparing partners - that's when things can get messy.

Now if you're talking about a one night stand... bring your raincoat and prepare to secure the dam

[Nestorian]

How many previous sexual partners is too many? I'm seeing someone right now who has told me he's been with no more than 30 girls... I feel like that is too much. Am I right? He is 21.

Are you right? DO you love him? How long have you been together? What is you personal perspective on sex? Is it a casual thing, only serious relationship thing?

I'm a guy, I've been with 5 women. I'm now 24, and realise that those realtionships weren't meant to last. I prefer to wait before I have sex with a girl. If I can't see being with them for very long, or looking after a child should one be born, then I refrain form it.

It's getting harder and harder to find women who have not had sex with less than 10-15 guys, as it seems people are doing the casual sex thing more and more.

So, what does it all come down to? What do you see happening to you two in 10 years? Does it look good or bad? Are you right? If you feel that you are, then don't let us diswade you. Hold tight to yourself respect and Love yourself.

PEace and kindness be with you.

[stevetcg]

I've always used your age as a good test.

[Synnen]

In this day of more STD's than flavors at a candy shop it's more important than ever to be up front about sexual specifics when getting into a relationship - it gives everyone involved an idea of what they're getting into. When I first started dating my girlfriend several years ago we had a frank discussion about all of this - to the point that she asked me if I could remember all of the names (first names at least) of the women I'd been with to that point and it was quite the list. (I could) The issues come to play when you start comparing partners - that's when things can get messy.

Now if you're talking about a one night stand..... bring your raincoat and prepare to secure the dam

Wrong.

You can talk about STDs and issues like monogamy and safe sex without EVER bringing numbers into play.

I've had the very frank, very up front talk about sexual expectations (like monogamy and honesty), STDs, pregnancy, etc. That talk has NEVER included numbers or names of previous partners. Frankly, that's none of his business.

Guys especially seem to dwell on any number past 5. They also get all weirded out if you happen to be friends now with a guy you had sex with 5 years ago--and they want you to end that friendship, which to me is irrational.

Bottom line is this: if your partner cannot handle the frank talk about your sex life before it happens WITHOUT that talk including names and numbers, then you probably won't have a relationship that will last because of SOMEONE's insecurities anyway.

So---I didn't deserve the reddie, because being safe has NOTHING to do with telling someone the details of your sex life before them.

[stevetcg]

Wrong.

Guys especially seem to dwell on any number past 5. They also get all weirded out if you happen to be friends now with a guy you had sex with 5 years ago--and they want you to end that friendship, which to me is irrational.

It's not just guys that dwell on stuff like that.

My bottom line is this: if knowing the 'magic number' will affect the way you feel about your partner, you probably shouldn't be with them in the first place.

[liz28]

To be honest I wouldn't want to be with a guy who judges me on how many people I've slept with, I'm not really into double standards or conservative types.I can really say I don't have any regrets sleeping with any guy I slept with in the past, because it was really good with each person, and I've always practice safe sex and get tested regularly.

I recalled a guy telling me his magic number and than he had the nerves to tell me "I have no sexual experience because my number was lower than his". After the shock of his statement wore off I told him "All because you have been around the block over and over doesn't make you an sex expert. A number is just a number because there are guys out there that slept with over 50 females but don't even know how to find the g-spot, and I bet your one of them--so please". He was livid but I didn't care.

[Ren6]

I'm with Liz. When guys post here saying they're troubled that their female partner has had more sexual partners than them, we jump to the defense of his partner. Why is this any different? If the person has been safe and tests out clean for STDs, who are we to judge? What is the magic cut off number for sexual partners?

[nikosmom]

I personally refuse giving names and numbers because as Synn pointed out, it's not the new guy's business. He doesn't need to know what I did, who I did it with, or how many there were before him. Bottom line is I'm with him at that moment and the past is the past.

But in the same fashion, I don't ask about his previous partners either. It's a private matter and none of my business. I'd only be concerned if those relationships either resulted in an STD or a child.

As long as we're being safe and enjoying the present relationship; what does the number matter?

[excon]

I feel like that is too much. Am I right?

Hello chrissy:

Sure, you're right. My number is 23. If a chick I go out with has had 24 lovers, I dump her immediately. BUT, if she's only slept with 23 dudes, that's just fine with me... No, how I feel about the person doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that number. One less, and she's a marrying kind of woman. One more, and she's a slut.

This makes soooo much sense to me... You?

excon

[JudyKayTee]

I do not think it's my partner's business. I have never asked and I have never told. I think the question following how many is how they rate on the list and I don't want to have that discussion, either.

I do care about bad breakups, though, because I think a series of them indicates a problem and I do care about safe sex.

I get spooked about men who go on and on about how awful/psychotic/mean the "ex" was/is.

[chrissymarie]

We've been dating for about a year now and only just now had that conversation about the "magic number". I love him very much (even though at times we have a thousand different issues) it just shocked me when he told me. He is very very good in bed so I guess I should have already kind of had an idea that he had some or a lot of experience. I felt different about his number then how I feel today. I don't think I should have asked him his number... and he didn't ask me mine back because he knew better lol! His past is his past. We were both tested for std's when we first together and everything was fine. I should have just left his sexual past behind in that clinic.

Now the only thing that kind of worries me about this "magic number" is the fact that I know he is such a horn dog... does that make him more prone to cheat?

[artlady]

Now the only thing that kind of worries me about this "magic number" is the fact that I know he is such a horn dog... does that make him more prone to cheat?
__________________

I don't think the two necessarily go hand in hand.
Cheating is about your sense of morality,horn dogs can be just as moral as any other man.

[88sunflower]

Well in my opinion every time your man slept around, someone else did to. They are all just numbers. So for men who get upset at there women's number, well someone slept with them to one up it, so they are one up to... how is that OK... does that make sense? Guess it boils down to double standard.

[Justwantfair]

I don't want a count, I want to judge a man by who he is with me.

Now if he has three children, three different women and only had three sexual partners... that is JUST as bad to me, as if he had 300.

[88sunflower]

Well it all boils down to just a number and who cares. Some people are bothered by it and some aren't. If you don't like it, move on. But every relationship before you is what made the person your with today. So you might want to forget the number and thank them!