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nuggaboo · Mar 28, 2009, 05:25 PM

I recently found out I have a brother or sister. My dad and ex step mom will not even talk about it. How do I go about finding out who they are if I just know the mother and the fathers name? Can I? Keep in mind I have no idea if it's sister or a brother and no one will help me. Thanks

Synnen · Mar 29, 2009, 08:35 AM

If your brother or sister is not yet 18, then you do NOTHING until they are.

If YOU are not 18 yet, then you can do NOTHING until you are.

Even after you are both 18, there may be nothing you can do. You can try a private detective, but that gets expensive. You can also try reunion websites like ISSR---but that assumes that your sibling KNOWS that they are adopted.

Why do you feel the need to contact them, anyway?

nuggaboo · Apr 1, 2009, 03:34 PM

Only thing I know is they are no more than 2 years younger than me. We are older than 18. I want to know because I just found out it bothers me that I don't know who they are! I did not know if I could go by parents name or something? I have no idea if they know they are adopted or not.

Synnen · Apr 1, 2009, 03:41 PM

You can ask the child's parents what information that they have.

Frankly, you have no bearing on the situation at all. You have no reason to disrupt your sibling's life.

If it bothers you that much, tell your father so, and ask him to be honest with you about the situation.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 1, 2009, 03:48 PM

Yes, I shocked very badly my younger 1/2 brother who always thought he was the oldest when I called him some time ago.

** same father, different mothers

And esp if the child does not know he was adopted and other family issues

You need to seriously talk to your father, it is up to him

nuggaboo · Apr 2, 2009, 02:45 PM

Thanks for your answers But I just want to know if I can locate someone by a parents name that's ALL I am really asking. I'm in this on my own NO HELP. I don't even think I would contat them I just want to know who they are

Synnen · Apr 2, 2009, 07:14 PM

If you are not the adoptee, the birthparent, or the adoptive parent, then the answer is NO---unless you have a medical emergency and have no other relatives that are a match to be a possible donor.