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jo_random · Mar 28, 2009, 04:46 AM

I am in a strange place :)
I have just spilt with my ex and got in contact with my childhood sweetheart, we bumped into each other randomly in a pub. It had been 9 years since I moved away and he hadn't changed a bit . The thing about me n XX is we never got round to telling each other until we met the other week. We both felt the same way when I had to leave heartbroken I had to leave immediately due to family issues :( so I didn't get to tell him I was going until after I left I loved him and never got to tell him :(
we had kept in contact by phone for a year or so but being so far away it never went any thurther until our lives got taken over with gcse's etc etc.
we got back in contact over face book and exchanged brief chats all the time hiding my feelings from him.
when we bumped into each other in the pub (random night out with the girls to the area grew up) it was like I hadn't left he walked straight up to me and hugged me instantly instantly each other was a bit strange lol but we spent about an hour catching up and he told me how heartbroken he was when I left (aided by booze) so I didn't think anything of it
until I get a text the next day from /xx "it wasnt just words last nite x" was all it said
since then we have been in touch loads both of us feel the same way and we spend hours chatting
but!
he has a girlfriend :(
I'm not sure what I want:(
we just want to be with each other
me are trying to arrange a night to meet up and catch up but our lives at this moment aren't great and we are finding it hard to arrange lol

I don't know what to feel or do??
I left my last relationship as I couldn't be with the ex because he wasn't me and had children he didn't match up 2 XX no one has since him people have come close but not the same... and I thought I just wanted to be on my own?!

should I go with it or am I being crazy?

neverme · Mar 28, 2009, 05:12 AM

STOP!!

Don't even arrange to meet up with this guy until/if he breaks up with his current girlfriend.

You may have unfinished business but that does not give you the right to come in and break up a relationship.

It may seem romantic right now that you guys "just want to be together", but I guarantee you it won't when the suspicion bug bites you when some other ex comes round if ye ever get together... you know?

He needs to do the honourable thing and walk away from this other woman before you two start anything.

Also, if it was me I would not have contact with him in this in-between stage as somewhere in the back of my head I would start to wonder... 'Did I push him into this decision?'... But that's just me.

Really, just take a look around this site, relationships are hard enough without adding crap to them before they've even started. Do what's right...

chuff · Mar 28, 2009, 08:43 AM

He has a girlfriend and you want to be the other woman. This seems like it could be the perfect situation.

Are you kidding me? You are crazy, let it go.

talaniman · Mar 28, 2009, 08:57 AM

How does helping him cheat, make this such a great idea for the future??

Survivor07 · Mar 28, 2009, 03:18 PM

Arranging a night for "catch up" wouldn't be so hard if he invites his girlfriend along... but we all know that isn't going to happen.

Be careful here. I smell a fling.

If he is serious about wanting to start up with you again, and if he is honest, he would tell his girlfriend the truth.

Then you'd get the fresh start and time your relationship deserves.

talaniman · Mar 28, 2009, 04:19 PM

You're a lamb going to slaughter, willingly at that. Unless you plan to take him from his g/f!! Its still cheating and lying on his part.