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happygirl5 · Mar 25, 2009, 11:35 PM

Ok, this is a long story, but basically my boyfriend and I took a break--not because we didn't love each other or no want to be with each other, but a situation on my end with not wanting to have sex for awhile. We both cried but we said we would get back together. Well, things were fine, and we were even "dating" but then he starts to pull back. Mind you, during this time, school is sucking REALLY BAD for him, and I'm doing very well... but anyway, he starts telling me that he wants me to date other people, he's not good for me, and not to wait up for him... and I'm stupid enough to sleep with him because I'm scared right? I'm in this break and it's scary because I feel like I'm losing my best friend and just acting out of this fear with the whole sex during break thing... to make matters worse, there was this girl who had this CRAZY crush on him and would flirt with him, and his roommates say that he was neither really hot or cold to it, but really overall was a little mean to her even though they got a long as friends... during this time they're laughing about it and john tells me not to worry about kira. We even had a few talks and he's scared about picking up some bad habits and wants to himself together because he feels he's going no where. Well there was a party at his place and she was there, and he got really high and drunk. She came into his room after everyone left, and kissed him. They ended up making out and having sex. Of course the girl tells me that it was more than a one night stand and that he told about me like us being different. He says he didn't like her and it really wasn't a conscious decision nor did he plan on having that happen, and that he told me because he still loved me. We've gotten back together (that's when the girl tried talking to me). He even told one friend he didn't like her and another that it was like comparing a little girl to a woman (me being the woman). I love him very much, and I feel good about us being together--but I'm still healing from the situation. Is there any advice?

mudweiser · Mar 26, 2009, 12:16 AM

Well he is really playing mind games with you. This guy is not ready for a relationship from what I read.

Best thing to do is break it off and move on.

MRS.S

artlady · Mar 26, 2009, 02:53 AM

He sounds like someone who likes to play games and have drama,yeah, guys play that drama game too.

Basically he told you on break to see other guys because he was not good enough for you.He told you this so he could freely sleep around.You played right into his manipulation by sleeping with him,and he still went to some other girl.

Now you are back and he is telling you he loves you.Love is an action ,not a word you say to keep someone under your thumb.

This guy sounds like a classic player who will use any manipulation he can.I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

I would go get tested for STD's and move on.

Honor yourself and know that no man who loved you would play you that way.

Is he really worth all this heartache,nonsense and drama?

talaniman · Mar 26, 2009, 06:48 AM

Its obvious he is doing everything but what he should be doing and truth be told, not unusual to be doing what he is doing at his age.

Back yourself away from this whole situation, and let him grow up, and find out the time he is wasting now, has profound consequences later.

Not your problem at all, but for sure you need to move beyond him, and focus on your own bright future. He is not ready for responsibility, let alone a healthy, adult relationship.

He is a boy who hasn't figured out what manhood is really about, so a lousy partner to a mature, woman like yourself.