[ChouxPastryHart]

Hi everyone. My name is Sarah and this is my first post on this site. I came looking for help with physics, but I ended up here. I read the beautiful post "What to expect after you get dumped!". Thank you so much, friend.

I'm wondering, my ex and I dated for about 6 months, broke up, saw other people for about 3 or 4 months, got back together for 2 months, then got engaged then broke up 3 months later, then we were on again off again for 4 months, and now it's over. He broke up with me. It's been about 4 weeks, with various amounts of communication and few get togethers with friends at which "very close friends" status came naturally and worked very well, at least for me. He seemed comfortable, but I can't say for sure. Things have been insane in both our lives lately. Not in a "good" way for either of us but in a learning way I guess.

I want to make it work so we could help each other through hard times, but I feel like right now it just won't. I'm sad and don't want to lose him but I feel ready for us both to move on and grow and maybe someday we can come together again. He says that he doesn't want us to end but he realizes it just isn't working and that he still loves me but he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. He'll check in and we can catch up now and then but not everyday. I send him way too many texts but I rarely call him. Probably a 50% chance that he'll pick up if I do. I really like talking to him. He is one of my best friends.

Why doesn't he want to talk to me? Why is it so hard for me to back off? Is there anything I can do to rebuild our friendship? Is it wrong to feel he is the one, even after all of this?

[A mouse]

He does want to talk with you, but right now it may be detrimental to your possible future friendship. You're having a hard time backing off because you've know each other so long and you don't want to slowly lose contact by not talking with him constantly. The last two questions, however, are polar opposites. You can't just be friends, and at the same time feel like he's the one. Take some time to really think about your future, see if he fits in perfectly or if he might not be the right person to spend the rest of your life with. If you then decide that he's not Mr. Right you can rebuild the friendship by slowly adjusting the way you see him from boyfriend to just friend.

-Mouse

[ChouxPastryHart]

Thank you. That helps a lot. I actually just talked to him. We won't be talking for a while, he's been awol for too long and he's turning himself in. This is freaking dumb. I want to be there for him so bad, but I don't know if I'm just being selfish.

As for the one issue, I feel like he's not right for me now, but in the future, when we grow up a little more, it will be right.

[talaniman]

How old are you both? What's up with this awol thing?