Check out some similar questions!

sarahdaniel · Mar 24, 2009, 04:17 PM

I have been with my partner for 6 years and he is not the biological father to my son although my son thinks of him as his father and even calls him dad.
His biological father is not in the picture and has no contact or parental rights over him.
Can I allow my partner to have parental rights over my son and if so how do I go about it.

stevetcg · Mar 24, 2009, 04:35 PM

Your partner would have to adopt your child. This would require attempting to find the father and establish paternity.

Are you and your partner married? Most states require this. If so, contact a local family law attorney and ask about starting a step parent adoption. If the biological father is out of the picture, it might be more difficult than otherwise, but it also might end up being much easier if you legitimately cannot find him.

sarahdaniel · Mar 24, 2009, 04:42 PM

No we are not married and don't ever intend to.
Myself and my ex were never married and he now wants nothing to do with my son and has relinquished all responsibility

stevetcg · Mar 24, 2009, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by sarahdaniel

no we are not married and dont ever intend to.
myself and my ex were never married and he now wants nothing to do with my son and has relinquished all responsibility

He doesn't get to decide to relinquish responsibility if you do not allow him to. It is not his choice.

But the answer to your questions is probably not, depending on where you live. What state do you live in?

ScottGem · Mar 24, 2009, 04:55 PM

As steve said only a court can terminate a father's rights. He can not voluntarily relinquish rignts. However, he can choose to not exercise them.

For your partner to have legal rights over the child, he has to become the legal father which means an adoption. Some states require adoptive parents to be married.

Please note, that if anything should happen to you, its possible the bio father would have to take responsibility.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 24, 2009, 04:59 PM

He may not have went to court and got any visits rights, and you may have gotten full custody and both physical and legal custody, but that does not mean the actual father does not have rights.

It is very hard to give up your rights, most courts will not allow you to fully give them up unless there is an adoption and without an adoption they would still owe child support almost always.

So yes, you will have to get the bio father to sign over his rights for the adoption, if he can be found.

But as noted, many areas will not allow the new partner to adopt unless you are married.

sarahdaniel · Mar 24, 2009, 05:37 PM

Thanks very much to all of you for the help. It was good to have some impartial advice. At least I know more now about the situation I am in
Thanks again
Sarah

Fr_Chuck · Mar 24, 2009, 05:40 PM

And again, states are starting one by one to allow adoptoin without marriage, and to varoius types of partners, so it is best to check with a local attorney about what your local court is doing.

But then for him to be and have the rights of a father marriage is really not asking too much

stevetcg · Mar 24, 2009, 05:42 PM

The other thing to keep in mind is that there is almost always a lawyer wanting to set precedent. Be a pioneer!

sarahdaniel · Mar 24, 2009, 06:02 PM

Yeah that's great thanks very much to you all

cdad · Mar 24, 2009, 06:06 PM

Im curious what state this is in ?

sarahdaniel · Mar 25, 2009, 03:01 AM

The uk

ScottGem · Mar 25, 2009, 05:31 AM

Originally Posted by sarahdaniel

the uk

Whoops, that may change the answers a bit. Most of us were talking about US laws. So I would suggest consulting a solicitor to see if your laws are different.

sarahdaniel · Mar 25, 2009, 05:41 AM

OK thanks