[pocket007]

OK my boyfriend and I have known each other since high school, we didn't start dating however until about seven months ago. At first we only saw each other on the weekends because we work different shifts. When we did it was amazing! He couldn't keep his hands off me and we had sex all weekend. Any chance that we had. About three moths after we started dating he asked for me and my daughter to move in with him. Everything was great and our relationship kept getting better. Until about two months ago... He has lost all desire for me. I come on to him and he acts like I don't even exsist. I can stand naked in front of him and he sees right through me. I am not sure what the problem is. I have asked him and he says that it's not me but it sure feels like it is.
I have no desire to go else where. I only want to be with him but I feel like I am setting myself up for failure. What do I do? How do I make want me again?

[Justwantfair]

What else has changed in the relationship?

Was this gradual or sudden?

Do you see each other all the time now?

[pocket007]

Well it's kind of been both gradual and sudden. Nothing else has changed other then the fact that we live together. But when we first moved in together it was fine. We still work opposite shifts... And I haven't changed physically at all if anything I look better. I am lost...
When I first started to notice it was just that we weren't finding time to have sex as often. And when we saw each other on the weekend we had sex. Now it's like always once a week on Sunday. Nothing more. And I try believe me I do...

[smoothy]

Maybe he just lost interest in you. You don't have to do anything wrong... he just feels the spark he though was there isn't. Lust and love are far different things but they may feel the same when you are young and inexperienced. You didn't start dating until 7 months ago and you've already been living together for a while.

Tells me you both jumped into living together pretty quick. As you know being friends and being in a relationship are far different things.

[bronzebabe]

Well, something happened...It sounds like he feels pressured because you are there...it might be time to move out, and start over, tho, I can say, if he is this way when you just LIVE together, that doesnt leave a lot of hope for a marriage later on, does it?

[chrissymarie]

You don't think he's seeing anyone else... do you?

[pocket007]

I know that he isn't seeing anyone else... He is not that kind of guy. I have known him for 10 years and I know for sure that he would never do that.
Maybe it's true maybe he has lost interest. Maybe now that he he knows that he can have me at will it's no fun for him. There is no chase therefore no desire...

[Justwantfair]

Sometimes relationships go through ups and downs and that includes sexually. When you are having sex, it is fairly usual to continue wanting sex. Now sex is more routine and the mystery is dimished.

See about doing something fresh, to rekindle the sexual relationship. A new outfit, suggest a new position. Don't be so discouraged by the lull in the relationship, just put some more effort into doing something less that expected.

[chrissymarie]

Maybe you two should try doing some new couples activities together... so you can see a new side to your man and he can see a new side to you too. This should help re kindle your flame. Also be spontaneous about sex... ask for it at some of the wrong times... on the way to the grocery store, in the morning, in the middle of the night. Also fixing yourself up too my help... New hair style, clothes, make up, etc etc

[Choux]

The relationship is over.

Next time, don't be looking for someone to rescue you from your life and your child's life. Moving in was a *big* mistake.

You have to model good behavior for your child... don't introduce a series of men into her life... you will just plain ruin her psyche.

I suggest you move out and go for parenting classes. Learn a new hobby and if you date, keep it only occasionally and out of sight of your child.

This is a good time for you to get your act together... some therapy, parenting classes, new hobbies... lose any bad habits like drinking and drugs and whatever. :)

Best wishes in the future, :)

[pocket007]

Let me just say that there hasn't been a lot of guys in my child's life. There has only been one. The guy that I am with now. I don't drink or do drugs. I am 26 and don't need a man to complete my life. I am a strong independent woman. I love my boyfriend and want to work on making our relationship work. I am not going to give up I want him in my life. Thank you for your opinion though.

[Justwantfair]

You took that opinion very well.

Don't give up hope, relationships require a lot of work, just keep looking, your relationship is nowhere near over, it just needs a boost.

[this8384]

Don't you love how all of Choux's "advice" seems to just be about theoretically slapping people in the face?

And I find it quite adorable how she tacks a " :) " onto every post to make it seem like she actually cares. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

[liz28]

Choux, I don't where you get off by saying the OP needs to attend a parenting class. That's rude! Have you considered signing yourself up for an etiquette class?

To the OP, it seems that the "honeymoon" part of your relationship is over. They say that you can see the way a person is once you start to live with. We your was only seeing each other on the weekens their was excitement there and once the two of you moved in together the excitement starting to dim.

However, here is another take on the situation. Do you think he might feel uncomfortable having sex with you because a child is now in the house and he thinks she or he might hear the two of you? Even catch your in the act? I know when I wa younger I used to hear weird noises coming from my parents room sometimes and now I know what they were doing. I guess they thought I was sleeping but sometimes I wasn't. I even recall questioning my mother about it and she looked at me like I was crazy.

[this8384]

Yet another ignorant post that offers no help whatsoever