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ashley711 · Mar 20, 2009, 04:54 PM

I'm 19 and 30 weeks pregnant, I live in Florida and wonder what legal rights my ex has to our unborn daughter. We are not married and he has threatened to take me to court. A lot of different people have told me that since we are not married I shouldn't worry. I live with mny parents right now and they have helped with everything, from setting up a nursery, to doctor visits. My ex has been violent with me in the past and now has to go to anger management and is on probation because of it. He hasn't helped at all since I've been pregnant. I'm not trying to be evil or spitful but I really want don't want him to be around me nor my daughter... I'm not looking for child support or anything like that. I am not planning to put him on the birth certificate because so many women who have been in my situation have told me not to. I just want to know what I can do to keep my daughter safe and away from him... I really don't want this drama:(

stevetcg · Mar 20, 2009, 04:57 PM

Putting him on the BC doesn't matter if he wants to be a part of the child's life. He can file for paternity and be put on the BC. He does not have to support you while you are pregnant but can be required to support the child once it is born.

Im sorry, but you cannot keep him from his child if he want to be a part of its life, the same way he cannot support his child if he doesn't want to be a part also.

Edited to add: what other people have told you is wrong. Fatherhood has nothing to do with being married.

cdad · Mar 20, 2009, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by ashley711

I'm 19 and 30 weeks pregnant, i live in florida and wonder what legal rights my ex has to our unborn daughter. We are not married and he has threatened to take me to court. Alot of different people have told me that since we are not married i shouldn't worry. I live with mny parents right now and they have helped with everything, from setting up a nursery, to doctor visits. My ex has been violent with me in the past and now has to go to anger managment and is on probation because of it. He hasn't helped at all since i've been pregnant. I'm not trying to be evil or spitful but i really want don't want him to be around me nor my daughter...i'm not looking for child support or anything like that. i am not planning to put him on the birth certificate because so many women who have been in my situation have told me not to. i just want to know what i can do to keep my daughter safe and away from him...i really don't want this drama:(

Im going to say something very harsh but posts like this have been gnawing on me for awhile.

As a parent.. you have no rights. As a parent you have obligations. The one truly with the rights is the child. The child has lots of rights and its your job as parent to obligate yourself to those rights. Those rights may include having a life with both parents. Those rights include care and love. Its really not your RIGHT to not make things whole for your child. Its your obligation to that child. You picked this man for whatever reason ( assumming it wasn't rape ) and now you have gotten a child involved. It really shouldn't even be a thought that child support isn't going to be asked for. Your obligation to your child DEMANDS it. Every court decision has always overlooked the wants of parents in favor of what's best for the child. There are ways with dealing with every situation and I encourage you to seek professional help at all levels. Don't just rely on what a friend or coworker might say. Get a lawyer.. seek out decent doctors. But at all times keep in mind your first and foremost obligation is that child. Its not about you or the ex or grandma etc.

OK.. off the soap box.