[what2do27]

Hello, I'm going to give you a brief rundown on what happened.
Im a 27 single male who is confused on what to do. Was dating a girl for close to 2 years as well. Here's the story.
In October of 2008 I started experiencing symptoms of depression, though I could see nothing was wrong with me. I had a great girlfriend, good job, etc. Though my girlfriend and my family noticed I was sleeping more, my moods were changing, and they figured I was getting depressed but didn't know why?

December roles around and my girlfriends friends tell her I'm cheating on her (they heard a name similar to mine associated with a girl, wrong accusation) and we start fighting like crazy. I end up breaking down and telling her that I don't want to deal with bs like this anymore. We end up not speaking for 3 weeks and I go to a therapist because I wanted to see what was wrong with me. They diagnosed me with a chemical imbalance and gave me a prescription medicine and my girlfriend and I got back together. That's when things really started to change.

By the 3rd week on the medication I was acting different, I was extremely moody, crying all the time, and pushing everyone away. My girlfriend and I were OK one second and then I would blow up on her the next for doing something that I didn't like. By the end of February my prescription ran out and for 4 days I was fine... back to normal and my girlfriend and I were happy. She didn't understand it but she happy I was myself again. Then I refilled the prescription. It happened all over again. We had a huge fight over something that could have been resolved with a simple ""I'm sorry, I love you" but things were said on both parts and I told her over the phone that "I would cut my throat if she didn't listen to me." I didn't have a knife to my throat but she thought I did. She decided that she wanted to end it because we were constantly fighting and she couldn't take it anymore, and wanted to move on with her life because she wanted to be happy. We haven't talked since (21 days.)

I go back to my doctor and find out that I was becoming more depressed using the medication (never heard that before but I did some research and it was true.) He prescribed me a new medication and now I feel fine. I feel like my life is balanced out. Now I'm wondering on what to do with my ex-girlfriend? I did send her flowers the day I found out and wrote the note "I'm sorry for the past couple months but respect your decision. I lost focus on who I was and let "this" effect our relationship. I hope you are well." Her response was "Thank you for the flowers and respecting my decision, I will always love you."

I have given her space and time to think but does anyone think I should even try to give it a shot. I know she must have felt so hurt and unloved and I left her to fend for herself emotionally. I don't know what to do. I love her, respect her, appreciate who she is, but I didn't show it that well while I was going through this. I don't think she will contact me first.

Please any help I get would be great.
Thank you for reading this.
Gerry

[liz28]

Well you acted out because of the medication you was takening at the time. It flooding you different emotions and lead to your detachment from your girldriend let alone life.

I can understand even though you was going through a rough time she was going through a hard time trying to understand and accept it. Maybe if she would have been educated a little more regarding what you was going through and the side effects from your meds it might have help her. Regardless, it is hard to see someone you care about go through this and sometimes it get frustrating and takes a lot of energy to deal with. But she did try to stick in there with you.

The only thing you can do right now is respect her decision and give her her space as requested. She might be trying to sort things out and that includes her feelings for you.

I don't know if the two is going wind up back together and don't want to give you false hope but in these situations you never know what can happen or what the outcome can be because it's tricky. The only thing I can tell you is to take care of yourself so you won't have a relapse of emotions. Learn how to cope without her.

[starlite1]

Hi Gerry,

I too am on medication for depression and before the meds I would cry a lot, lash out emotionally to people and was driving everyone around me who loved me crazy. I know what you are going through, believe me, I have been there. You can either grant her more space, or perhaps hand write her a letter explaining that the meds where causing you to act the way you were, and now that you are on different ones, you are feeling and doing much better. Explain everything, and ask her to dinner to talk. It couldn't hurt. A handwritten letter will also show that you took the time to sit down gather your thoughts and compose this. It is also romantic. If she says no to dinner, then you should move on. But if she says yes, well then you can talk with her in person.

[what2do27]

Thank you for your responses.

I do want to mention that she also went through a hard couple of months where I was there for her completely. Though they weren't as bad like the ones I put her through I was still there for all her tears and emotional heartache. She was hating her job and snapping @ me every second she could. I still stayed by her side and didn't fight with her whatsoever.

Everyone always says "No Contact" is the key, but what if you had a stubborn girlfriend? She's 28 and I know she wants to be loved but I don't want to push her away.

[talaniman]

she couldn't take it anymore, and wanted to move on with her life because she wanted to be happy. We haven't talked since (21 days.)

"Thank you for the flowers and respecting my decision, I will always love you."

Respect her decision, and leave her alone. It really is that simple. Just do as she asked.

[what2do27]

Threads merged

If the woman still loves you, does it work? Even if you weren't under control of your problems (chemical imbalance, wrong medication, made it worse.)

Any experience in here?

She doesn't play the No Contact game. Either you contact her or you never hear from her again.

[roxypox]

Could you maybe explain a little more? I'm not sure how bad the things you did were, it might work, or it might not.

And who broke up with who? And why?

[what2do27]

could you maybe explain a little more? I'm not sure how bad the things you did were, it might work, or it might not.

and who broke up with who? and why?

Read this thread then respond in this one.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ip-331626.html

[roxypox]

I will do that, but I didn't know that you've posted about this earlier...

[what2do27]

i will do that, but I didn't know that you've posted about this earlier....

Sorry about that, I'm just trying to right my wrongs

[roxypox]

Listen, I think you should respect her decision and give her space. She might find it nice if you wrote her that letter, but You did send her the flowers... and the note and she responded. And thanked you for respecting her decision.

No problem.

Maybe you should ask about this in the other thread, if no one else responds to this one...

Best of luck!

[talaniman]

You can see how confusing it is to post another question on the same subject. Thats why the post have been merged to stop the confusion.

I think writing the note will help you vent your feelings, but mailing it to her is a very bad idea. Write it, and burn it.

Sorry guy, better look ahead, and not back.

[what2do27]

Merged threads

So recently my ex and I broke things off because of my chemical imbalance, the medication I was taking gave me horrible side effects and she couldn't handle it anymore. She told me she was going to always love me but move on with her life. I ended up getting better and
I haven't contacted her since.
So 3 weeks have gone by and my friend calls me and says "You know your ex is on a dating website." SO he forwards me the link and I read what she wanted in a mate, and everything she wants is what I was giving her and the look of the type of guy she wanted was a carbon copy of myself.

SO now what do I in this situation? Everyone keeps saying no contact but obviously she's looking to replace "me" with "me."

Shouldn't I just try and get her back?

[jmw0713]

No.. obviously there was a problem, and you two didn't work out. It's now time for you to move on and find somebody else.

Stick with what your doing and find a better partner for you.

[phoenix1664]

She left you because of a medical problem I don't know about other peole but if someone is going to leave you when you are in that state then go looking for someone like you its wrong.

She wants someone like you OK good yea but the question you haft to ask yourself is will she be there for you I mean she left when you were down what makes you think she won't do it again.

Move on with your life and find a woman who wants you for you and won't leave you when things are not ogin well.

In the end all we can give you is advice the choice is yours I just hope you make the right one for you

[talaniman]

There is a very good reason we say stay off those social network pages, because everything we see either confuses us, or gives us false hope.

We also suggest you tell your close friends, to not be go betweens, or look out scouts, for her business.

[what2do27]

She left you because of a medical problem i dont know about other peole but if someone is going to leave you when you are in that state then go looking for someone like you its wrong.

She wants someone like you ok good yea but the question you haft to ask yourself is will she be ther for you i mean she left when you were down what makes you think she wont do it again.

move on with your life and find a woman who wants you for you and wont leave you when things are not ogin well.

In the end all we can give you is advice the choice is yours i just hope you make the right one for you

It wasn't even that bad, I had a negative reaction on the medicine my doctor gave me originally, I did have some major mood swings but never once put her down, or laid a hand on her, I would just blow up about something, then get really quiet and want to be alone for a little bit.

She can't handle pressure whatsoever. I was the rock in that relationship. I was there when the same thing happened to her, she got put on medication and I was there for her and the beginning was bad but I stayed cause I loved her. She got better and I maintained being the rock until it hit me.

She wasn't perfect either, had some issues (trust, insecurity) because of her past relationships, and wasn't responsible whatsoever.

[roxypox]

Could it be a possibility that she used this period of your relationship as a way to make up her mind and get out of the relationship?

But It does seem that no matter why she decided to break up, if she does come to a decision that she wants you back (specifically you and not some version of you that she found on a dating site... then she'll prob tell you don't you think, when she realizes it) That's NOT to say that you should go around thinking about that, or waiting and hoping for it. B/c she seems to have made up her mind...

It does seem like the info you got about and on the dating site might have filled you with some false hope and that really is the worst kind of hope.

Maybe it is time to try working on letting her go and working through what ever pain you are feeling. B/c the truth is.. the two of you did break up and she appreciates that you respects her decision... if she has moved on, maybe you should as well... this will most likely NOT be good for you in the long run.

[what2do27]

Threads merged

And this is all it said
"You proved that i stand corrected."

I have no idea what that means.

Anyone know what that means? Or if there is a little meaning to it.

[BlackVY]

You proved that she was wrong?